Sologamy: The Complete Guide To Marrying Yourself

Want to take self-love to a whole new level? Marrying yourself has never been easier with Sologamy!
A group of bridesmaid drinking champagneGetty

So, what is Sologamy?

The term describes the act of marrying oneself. Believe it or not, people all over the world are turning self-love into a lifelong commitment! To define Sologamy, we first need to understand why loving yourself is the best decision you can ever make.

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Can You Marry Yourself?

True love is hard to find, so if you’ve ever wondered can I marry myself? you aren’t alone!

You spend your whole life searching for ‘the one’ – but what if the perfect match was right in front of you all along? It’s time to look in the mirror and say I do to YOU!

Woman pointing to engagement ring on her finger
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Relationships are a serious investment that needs time and effort to grow. So why not put all that energy into yourself? Like any marriage, Sologamy has its ups and downs but some people claim that they’ve never been happier since tying the knot with themselves!

How Does Self-Marriage Work?

Who says you need to have a significant other to get hitched? If most couples can enjoy the festivities of a wedding, so can you! Preparing for your special day can start with the simple click of a button. You can go online and order self-wedding kits complete with a handcrafted ring, some ceremony instructions, and even your vows!

A love box with 'it has always been you' written onn it
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Legally, self-marriage isn’t legitimate but there are no laws against it. Sologamy is more of a symbolic ritual than a legal contract, which means you’re allowed to make your own rules. You can have all the fun of the tradition without worrying about pesky paperwork.

Can You Marry Yourself If You Are Ordained?

One perk of marrying yourself is you don’t need an ordained minister to do it. You can have your wedding officiated or hosted by anyone you wish – you can even go the DIY route!

There are some businesses and professionals that specialise in providing services for your solo celebration. In San Francisco, a record-breaking 7,000 people wed themselves as part of the largest sologamy ceremony in the world!

Pro tips for Sologamy

Sologamy requires just as much dedication as any other relationship. It means accepting, understanding, and appreciating yourself on a much higher level so you can live up to your vow of loyalty. If it all seems too intimidating, here are some pro-tips to guide you if you ever want to try going solo!

Purpose & Preparation

It’s time for some inward reflection. Are you marrying yourself out of confidence or to boost your self-esteem? Are you commemorating a milestone in your life or leaving the past behind? Your marriage to yourself will be so much more meaningful if you know the reasons behind it.

Woman in wedding dress with a blue sky in background
(Credit: Getty)

Once you’re ready, don’t stress – just go get a wedding dress! Find an outfit that represents how you feel about the next chapter of your life as your own soulmate.

Location & Invitations

Invite a few close friends and trusted family members to witness your public declaration of self-affirmation. The amount of venue space you’ll need depends on how many guests you’re expecting.  You can still have your maid of honour (or best man) along with an entourage of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

A group of bridesmaid drinking champagne
(Credit: Getty)

If it’ll be an intimate gathering, your house or backyard is ideal. If you want to be a little extravagant, a function room at a hotel should be more than enough. A destination wedding at the beach or the mountains would be great too! If showing off isn’t your thing, you can also do it in total privacy – it’s all up to you.

Vows & Ceremonies

Nothing says, I married myself” like walking yourself down the aisle. You don’t need anyone to give you away unless you prefer it the old-fashioned way.

A wedding cake with a woman on top
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Stating your vows is like reading a love letter from yourself, but this time you get to share the experience with loved ones. List down everything you’re grateful for: the things you love and the things you want to come to terms with. After all the emotional stuff, you can toss your bouquet and enjoy your wedding cake without having to share it!

The Honeymoon Phase

Now that you’ve joined yourself in holy matrimony, you might wonder: how do you have sex as a Sologamist? Well, loving yourself also means getting in touch with your sexy side. Sologamy isn’t lonely when you know how to turn yourself on!

Woman in a pink dressing gown lying on a bed
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The Story Of Sologamy & Sologamist Quotes

It all began with Linda Baker in 1993. She was the first woman to marry herself and in honour of her 40th birthday. Over the years, her story has inspired cases of Sologamy in the UK, America, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, and Australia. Here are some quotes to inspire you!

Grace Gelder (Los Angeles, Vogue)

“My wedding in May 2015 was one of the best days of my life and I’d encourage anyone to marry themselves as it can only be a positive act.” 

 Erika Anderson (Brooklyn, Cosmopolitan)

“I had cold feet for 35 years. But then I decided it was time to settle down. To get myself a whole damn apartment. To celebrate birthday number 36 by wearing an engagement ring and saying: YES TO ME. I even made a registry, because this is America.”

Laura Messi (Italy, RT News)

“Some people might criticise me, but I’m convinced that I have done nothing wrong. I’m so happy and above all, I crowned my dream.”

Linda Doktar (Australia, The Independent)

“Yesterday I experienced the most powerful self-love & self-marriage ritual known to humankind – to promise to love, honour and respect my soul today, tomorrow and always.”

Kevin Nadal (New York, The Guardian)

“I’ve attended at least a dozen weddings, and I have bought tons of gifts for those couples. And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to do it. But I started thinking: we always celebrate married life, why not single life?”

Smiling man in a suit with a white rose in his front pocket
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Happily Ever After

For better or for worse, the empowering movement shows no signs of stopping. Whether you think it’s narcissistic or enlightened, Sologamy reminds you to love yourself and know your worth. In the end, there’s no shame in celebrating who you are!

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