It’s not unusual to breeze through everyday life without taking notice, or really seeing the people around you.
It’s not unusual to breeze through everyday life without taking notice, or really seeing the people around you.
But for Stephanie Agnew, not noticing her neighbour has a particular significance.
‘Rob lived next door to me for 18 months before we got together,’ she tells New Idea.
At that time, Stephanie could still see.
She remembers bumping into neighbour Rob Campbell, 48, when she was taking out the garbage in her Melbourne apartment, but she didn’t stop to look at him properly.
It was only after she lost her sight at 27 – due to the genetic condition cone-rod dystrophy – the pair met properly.
And now she’s kicking herself that she’ll never know what her husband-to-be looks like.
‘We met at a drinks event and then at another one soon after,’ she explains.
‘He smelt of nice aftershave and I could feel he was wearing a blazer and jeans, so I knew he was well-dressed.’
She goes on: ‘I know his build – he is six foot four (193cm) and I am five foot four (162cm), so he is a lot taller than me – and I know he has broad shoulders, but other than that I have to rely on descriptions.
‘At first I was a bit worried because he’s older than the guys I would usually go for, but everyone said he looks younger than 48!’
The pair got engaged four months ago and at first Stephanie says being blind made her rethink her wedding day.
‘As a child I’d always wanted the big white fairytale. But I never thought I’d go blind before I got married, and when I lost my sight, I just assumed a wedding would upset me too much,’ she tells New Idea.
Her mother Linda is also blind due to the condition and Stephanie hated the idea Linda wouldn’t be able to see her only daughter walk down the aisle.
‘When she lost her sight I remember being upset she wouldn’t see me get married,’ Stephanie says. ‘Mum was in her forties so, even though I’d been diagnosed, I assumed I had heaps of time left.’
It was, however, Stephanie’s mum who persuaded her to go ahead with her dream day.
‘Mum told me I’d regret it if I didn’t,’ Stephanie says.
So she started planning.
‘I’ve been enjoying the process, but it’s also been frustrating,’ she says.
‘Lots of websites only show images and not descriptions, so I’ve had to rely on other people to help me shop for things like bridesmaids dresses.’
The wedding dress was something she was particularly concerned about, because how could she possibly find ‘the one’ when she couldn’t see it?
‘I was really scared I’d have a breakdown in the shop because it is such a big moment for a woman and I didn’t want to look in the mirror and not be able to see the dress,’ Stephanie remembers.
Taking an entourage including her Mum, Dad, brother Callum, bridesmaid Jess, and videographer, Shaun, as well as her friend and wedding photographer James Day, she hoped to see the dress through their eyes.
‘It took double the time,’ she laughs. ‘After I put every dress on, they described it to me and Mum had to come and feel it and we’d all discuss it.’
It was the last of 18 dresses when Stephanie felt a huge smile creep across her face.
‘I got goosebumps and I know I just lit up,’ she says. ‘It was like everyone says when you find the right dress and I can’t wait for Rob to see it.’
James caught the whole day on camera and when he provided Stephanie with the photos, each came with its own detailed description of the image.
But there are no photos of ‘the’ dress, which will be kept a secret until the big day rolls around in November.
‘Picking the right venue was important,’ Stephanie says, and the pair have now settled on Maleny on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast.
As she was not able to see it, it had to feel right.
‘The director spent so much time with me describing features and letting me touch things,’ she says, appreciatively.
Without her sight, Stephanie relies on her other senses a lot more and it means things like the flowers will have to smell amazing and the food will need to be super delicious.
‘There won’t be any artificial arrangements at my wedding,’ Stephanie says, laughing happily.
The whole wedding planning process can be quite daunting to a fully sighted person, but
Stephanie hasn’t allowed her condition to stop her.
‘When people tell you that you can’t do something, you can’t let that affect you,’ she says.
‘Everyone has hurdles, so it’s important to dig deep within yourself and understand that life can be hard but there are always ways to deal with things.’
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