Every family knows what it’s like to suffer through internal tensions, wether it be with parents, children or in-laws. But when a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law don’t get along, the resulting tension affects everyone in the family.
The Sun’s advice column got an anonymous letter submitted to it, and it has sparked online debate.
Writing to the column Dear Deidre, she wrote: ‘My daughter and I have had a non-existent relationship with my son’s wife for years. We’ve tried to sort it out but she isn’t having any of it.’
The mother went on to explain that her son and his wife, who are both 28, were married six months ago, however, the mother revealed at their wedding she and her husband were mistreated.
‘My husband and I are in our early fifties and we weren’t seated at the top table,’ she wrote. ‘I was gutted because my son had told me that there wasn’t a top table. There was – but it was all her family.’
The concerned mother went on to say she and her daughter-in-law got on well at the start, ‘but the relationship started to deteriorate between her and my 30-year-old daughter over silly things.’
The mother explained that they’ve tried to sort it out over the years, but nothing has worked.
She wrote: ‘My son visits us on his own because he says his wife feels uncomfortable at our house. We are not welcome at their house because his wife doesn’t want anyone visiting. Can you give me any advice on how to move forward with the situation?’
Of all the relationships in family life, the one between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is often the most challenging. No matter what the issues may be between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, everyone in the family usually knows about them. Unfortunately each member of the family sees the situation from their own perspective — meaning they bring their own emotional baggage along, and as a result, it’s difficult for any of them to stay neutral.
Deidre says, ‘Try writing a letter to your daughter-in-law explaining that you hate this conflict.
‘Say you realise something’s gone wrong between her and your daughter but you want to make amends. Suggest you meet up in a neutral place.
‘If she agrees make a real effort to be extra-friendly – compliment her on how she looks and take a real interest in her.
‘She may or may not change her tune, but at least you will know you’ve tried your hardest.’
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