“Blue balls,” my cockney Aunty Sophie warned, “is a load of old bollocks.”
“It’s a boy’s way of guilting his way into your pants and you should never let anyone guilt themselves into ya pants,” she continued.
Aunty Sophie was right about the guilt trip, but what evidence was she basing her medical opinion on?
My guess is probably none. She was a hairdresser and well-meaning know it all.
Blue balls, the myth, the legend…the possible exaggeration.
Are ‘Blue Balls’ even real?
Blue Balls, known by its proper name Epididymal Hypertension (EH) when it’s in trouble, is actually a ‘thing’.
Well, it’s more than a ‘thing’, it’s a diagnosable condition. We must, however, use the term ‘condition’ lightly. You won’t find this presenting itself on an episode of The Good Doctor.
What is Blue Balls?
Blue Balls occur when men have an erection for too long with no sexual relief. Having wood and not ejaculating for a protracted period of time can cause a heavy, dull aching sensation in the balls. It can be painful, but not on a grand scale.
Textbook blue balls symptoms do not extend beyond this type of hurt, so if you experience intense pain in the balls, whether aroused or not, you need to see a doctor.
How do you get rid of Blue Balls?
The prognosis for Blue Balls is as good as the cure – an orgasm. Nothing like a good old home remedy. If you can’t get your rocks off, think of something that will keep the excitement down to a minimum and things will tone down pretty quickly.
What causes Blue Balls?
The medical name helps define Blue Balls perfectly; Epididymal referring to the Epididymis, a long narrow sperm delivery tube in the balls, and Hypertension meaning elevated pressure or tension.
We all know that when a man is aroused, blood pumps to his penis and semen builds up in his testicles. This pressure is what causes an erection.
When held onto for too long, the balls become engorged and the pooled blood loses its oxygen, sometimes giving off a bluish hue.
The term ‘Blue Balls’ is from the blue tinge that can sometimes occur along with the discomfort. Either that or the fact they didn’t get the relief they were anticipating.
How long can you have Blue Balls for?
Prolonged sexual arousal is no good for anyone, particularly men. But how long is too long? The time varies for every man. Some can feel pain in as little as 30 minutes while some can hang on for an hour and a half until they experience pain. The pain, after ejaculating, goes away.
Can women get Blue Balls?
Literally no, metaphorically yes.
Women can experience a similar sensation in their genitals if they are highly aroused yet don’t climax. As blood flows to the clitoris and labia, similarly to a man’s penis, women can get that dull ache for much the same reasons. It’s called Pink Balls or Blue Vulva. Not as catchy.
So, while men are often quick to self-diagnose a case of Blue Balls, meaning they are generally sexually frustrated, there is actually some science behind the complaint.
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