We’ve been waiting 17 years for Shrek to return to our screens, so why do I feel so underwhelmed?
DreamWorks has dropped the first full trailer for Shrek 5, but it’s Far, Far Away from the quality I’d hoped.
We all noticed the modernised animation style in the cheeky cast announcement video last year, and the trailer has only added to my fears.
Shrek and co are travelling to the land of Further, Further Away this time around, and we’re getting Further and Further Away from the original concept.
All the original heavy-hitters, Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy, are back, alongside an exciting new addition, Zendaya, who is playing Shrek’s teen daughter, Felicia.
But the A-list talent and nostalgic voices haven’t stopped me from asking: Where’s the rustic charm?
In the wise words of the ogre himself, Shrek is like an onion; it needs more layers!
I will admit, the new look is very polished, but what’s happened to our favourite ogre? His face might be the same, but there’s a clinical cleanness to his appearance I just can’t put my finger on.
The same can be said for Donkey; his face looks slimmer, and his expressions have entirely changed. Donkey jokes that he needs a “makeover” in the trailer, but I think he’s already had one.
Call me old, but not for the first time, I’m mourning the imperfect, textured, 2000s animation style.
More and more, modern CGI relies on an ultra-polished look, but half the charm is in its lack of realism.
Do we need the framed pictures and lamps in Shrek’s Swamp to look like they could sit in an everyday cottage? I think not.
The visual overhaul isn’t my only concern. While I’m glad to see all the old faces back, Fiona also barely gets a word in edgeways in the trailer, though thankfully, she still appears to be a very central part of the plot.
As for the newer characters, I’m glad to see Shrek and Fiona’s kids, Fergus and Farkle, finally make appearances, though Felicia has all but vanished.
Zendaya’s name flashes up alongside the main stars on the end credits, but she’s barely featured in the trailer (other than, I think, one blink-and-you-miss-it moment).
This is a big change from her prominent role in the initial cast teaser, where Felicia was the only triplet to get a look-in.
Is this a sign they’re trying to protect a plot twist? There were rumours that the film’s delay was in part to refine the story, so maybe this much is true.
To save a lynching from the OG Shrek fans, I seriously hope Shrek 5 lives up to its 17-year wait and brings back all the parodies we’ve grown to know and love.
Frankly, I’ll be waiting for a moment as iconic as Fairy Godmother’s cover of I Need a Hero or Gingy’s gumdrop button torture scene before I jump for joy over the fifth instalment. It will take more than Smash Mouth’s All Stars belting out to get this movie over the finish line.
I’m by no means the biggest Shrek fan in the world (though I did spend my Valentine’s Day watching Shrek 2 and recently signed up for a Shrek-themed trivia night), so I can only imagine what the die-hard stans are thinking.
Actually, I don’t even have to imagine it. A quick glance at the online reaction proves that thousands of fans share my scepticism.
For the sake of not ruining a franchise I consider to be faultless, I’ll be saying a silent prayer that my doubts are unfounded and Shrek 5 soars to success, and not just in the box office numbers, but longevity too.
Otherwise, I might well be running away from the swamp. The death of the Shrek franchise is not a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
