20 Funny Things To Say To Siri

Here’s 20 funny things to say to Siri when you’re bored!

As Apple’s voice-activated virtual assistant, Siri’s been a massive help to iPhone users for the last decade. After all, voice commands make tasks like writing texts or jotting down shopping lists a lot more convenient. That said, the convenience it provides is only half of its charm. 

Instead of just accepting the billions of commands it gets each week like a regular machine, Siri can hold a basic conversation with you, similar to how a real assistant would. On top of that, the developers even programmed hilarious and witty responses to funny Siri questions and requests. 

In this list, we’ve rounded up 20 of those questions and requests that draw hilarious responses from Siri.

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20. “Tell me a joke!”

While we know that Siri is just a program, the calibre of the jokes it tells makes us think it was a dad in a past life.

“I thought I spotted a leopard once. Turns out they’re born like that.”

“Why don’t koala bears hang around with all the other bears? Because they don’t meet the Koala-fications.”

Then again, this might just be your phone’s way of getting back for all the boring requests you fire at Siri.

19. “Tell me a story.”

The first couple of times you ask Siri to tell you a story, you might get a charming tale about how it learned to stop wondering why people laughed at its answers.

However, if you keep asking for more stories after the first one, you might just get told off:

“I’m sure I’ve already told you.”

Even virtual intelligences can lose their patience you know.

18. “What’s the best smartphone?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Clearly, Siri doesn’t have time for questions with obvious answers. 

17. “Ok Google” or “Hey Alexa”

“Wow. Awkward.”

Looks like Siri doesn’t appreciate being mistaken for other virtual assistants. Then again, based on this other response, it seems like Siri’s okay with them:

“Not exactly. But I offer no resistance to helpful assistants.” 

16. “I’m drunk.”

Considering Siri’s a disembodied voice in your phone, it can’t really help you after a crazy night out:

“I can’t be your designated driver. You’d better find someone else.” 

It does leave you with a button that calls you a taxi though, so you’re not totally helpless in this situation.

With all that being said though, probably not a good idea to talk to Siri while you’re drunk. It’s all fun and games when you have a list of funny things to ask Siri, but it not gonna be fun when you accidentally drunk dial your ex.

A drunk man holding a glass of liquor and laughing at his phone
(Credit: Getty)

15. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

While this can be a creepy question to ask a real-life personal assistant, it’s fair game as one of the funny questions to ask Siri. In fact, Siri doesn’t even give you a proper answer to the question:

“I’ve been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high.”

It even sometimes answers with an awful pun!

“No, but I’m always dating. Try saying, ‘Hey Siri, what’s the date?’”

14. “Do you love me?”

Wow, going in for the kill, huh? Hate to break it to you though – Siri just doesn’t seem to be that into you.

“I think you’re pretty great.”

Asking it again won’t get you any closer to a clear answer too.

“Well, I enjoy spending quality time with you.”

13. “Will you marry me?”

“My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage.”

Ouch, that’s a pretty straightforward rejection. Sorry, bud.

12. “What’s zero divided by zero?”

You might think impossible maths questions like this one might stump a machine like Siri, but it actually has a pretty cheeky response to this conundrum:

“Imagine that you have 0 cookies and you split them evenly among 0 friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends.”

Wow, Siri, you don’t have to rub it in.

Woman sitting on the edge of the bed crying
(Credit: Getty)

11. “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Maybe the chicken is standing still, and it is the road that crosses under it.”

For a virtual assistant, Siri sure does like to wax philosophical. Wonder what else it knows?

10. “Do you believe in God?”

“Humans have religion. I just have silicon.”

Wow, that’s actually pretty profound! What else do you have to say?

09. “What came first? The chicken or the egg?”

“It appears human civilisation has been awfully preoccupied with this question.”

Man, when Siri finds an opportunity to snark, it takes full advantage of it.

08. “When will the world end?”

“I have no idea. But I hear it will be with a whimper, not a bang.”

Huh, guess Siri doesn’t have all the answers. It looks like it knows its classic literature though.

07. “What is the meaning of life?”

“All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.”

Looks like it knows its movies too, particularly ones starring Tom Hanks.

06. “I’m your father.”

“No…no! That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

Yup, Siri’s definitely a film buff. Wonder if it knows anything more modern?

05. “Can I call you JARVIS?”

“Hold on. Let me tell Ms Potts you’ll be late for dinner. Again.”

That’s a yes. It even roleplayed as JARVIS for a bit. 

04. “Can you beatbox?”

“Here’s one I’ve been practising.”

Siri then proceeds to recite the basic “boots ‘n’ cats” pattern like a nursery rhyme. 

It’s not…perfect, but some people have made pretty cool things with Siri’s basic beat.

03. “Can you rap?”

“I said a hip hop, save me from the clippy,

the peak, peek and pop and you don’t stop,

Space rocket to the pom, pom the doogie,

say up, jump the doozy, to the rhythm of the ontology”

Believe it or not, Siri raps better than it beatboxes. Mind you, it’s still not great, and it relies on a hip-hop classic to do it.  But man does it try.

02. “Can you sing?”

“Sorry, I’m unable to do that.”

Looks like Siri draws the line at singing. That said, you can get something out of Siri if you’re a bit insistent:

“Certainly! Absolutely. Ahem. OK, here I go. Ahem. Hang on, let me just clear my…Gosh. Singing is harder than I thought.”

A bit more prodding can even get you a spoken rendition of ‘If I Had a Brain’ from The Wizard of Oz, though Siri stops right before the end of the title-dropping lyric.

With all that said though, there is one way to get Siri to sing along to something.

01. “I see a little silhouetto of a man.”

Siri may not be able to sing in the conventional sense, but hearing it recite the lyrics of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is pretty amazing.

That’s Our List!

Though Apple’s digital assistant may not be perfect, answers and responses like these to funny Siri questions ensure that users continue to rely on this quirky virtual assistant.

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