Content warning: This article mentions family and domestic violence and physical abuse. If you find this topic distressing, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or go to their website here. For mental health support, contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or visit their website here.
Jelena Dokic is the first to say that her life has been full of heartbreak and trauma, but also many incredible moments.
In a special interview for Australian Story, the tennis legend and Logie winner sat down with Leigh Sales at The Wheeler Centre in Melbourne to reflect on her life and experiences.
Find out what she said below.
Life right now
When asked how it felt to be Jelena Dokic right now, the author and sports commentator said she was happier than ever.
“I can literally say, no exaggeration here, that I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been,” she began.
“I’m very happy where I am, very happy, very proud, mostly though to say, of the work I’m trying to do, and what I’m trying to stand for, and that it is resonating with people, that it is making an impact, that’s what I always wanted, so it’s almost surreal a little bit.
“I’m very aware of the tough moments I’ve had in life, I’ve also had great moments as well and great experiences, there’s no doubt about that. But yeah, it feels great to kind of be 42 now… cause I feel like I’ve never been wiser, and all of those experiences have shaped who I am.
The difficult relationship with her abusive father
Throughout her career, in her award-winning documentary Unbreakable: The Jelena Dokic Story, and her memoir, Unbreakable, she has spoken about her abusive father, Damir Dokic, who died in May.
Speaking with Leigh, she said growing up, she felt like she was never good enough, and her father abused her physically and emotionally throughout her childhood.
Despite her stellar tennis career as a teen, it was a different story away from the court.
When asked if she thought it was normal, she realised it wasn’t as she got older, but was determined to get out of there.
“…you are so used to it and so used to living in that fear that it becomes normal for you,” she said.
One moment that stood out to her was when her father banned her from her hotel room after she lost the Wimbledon semi-final to Lindsay Davenport.
“That is one of those things that stays with you when you reach the Wimbledon semi-finals at the age of 17 and your family and father… doesn’t allow you to come home, that’s how much of a disgrace you are for that person, and I had nowhere to go on top of that as well,” she said.
The former player said her father should have been banned “a lot earlier”.
“It took literally took 10 incidents to be banned for six months. I don’t think that kind of abuse of violence should be anywhere near sport.”
She also opened up about when her father pulled her from representing Australia, and instead made her compete for Yugoslavia in the Australian Open, where she was booed by 15,000 people.
“That was the worst moment of my life,” she explained.
“…as a 17-year-old to put me in that position and to get the booing of 15,000 people, and of course, him watching at home, in a hotel while I’m going through this, I just wanted to disappear.”
“And I felt like so much was taken away from me in that moment.”
When she left home, she had no savings because her father took all of her earnings. Over the years, she came to terms with the possibility of him not loving her.
Long before his death, she tried to reconcile with him, hoping their dynamic would change as she grew up, but Jelena said he was not remorseful.
“I tried, it wasn’t possible. It’s hard when someone is not even a little bit sorry or has any remorse, and in fact, he said he would do it all again,” she said.
While she felt like she did not need to forgive him, she explained that she did not hate him.
When asked by someone in the audience, Jelena also revealed that she did not attend his funeral.
“I didn’t feel like I needed to go, to be honest. It’s the decision I made in that moment, and that was my choice at the time, and I don’t feel like I needed to or wanted to go,” she explained.
Despite her mother siding with her father growing up, she said they now have a great relationship. Because of her father’s actions, she was also cut off from her younger brother, but now, they are closer than ever.
The power of telling her own story
She once felt like she lost her voice, but explained that she reclaimed it when she released her memoir.
Ultimately, she credits it to saving her life.
“There’s no doubt about that,” she said.
“Sharing my story has given me the ability to find my voice, to reclaim my life and my power, and actually, from there, really not be silenced for the very first time in 35 years. So it actually saved my life being able to share my story.”
Finding love again
After her 19-year relationship ended in 2021, she was not sure she’d find love again.
“He was incredible in being there for me; we went through a lot together,” she explained. “At the same time, though, it came to an end and we kind of grew apart, and that’s life. We were together since we were 20-21.”
In July, she took to Instagram to reveal that she found love again, with Yane Veselinov.
She did not expect to find it, but was glad for their “accidental meeting”.
“It’s still new, it’s only kind of been this year, but it’s amazing, because… I never thought someone like that could walk into my life again, is amazing.
“And I know it might sound like a cliche, but when you say someone just comes into your life and makes you believe again, it makes you believe that there are good people out there and they should believe in love again, and it’s something you thought you’d never find again, and pretty much say I gave up on.
“And he showed me that that’s not the case.”
Watch Australian Story every Monday at 8pm on ABC TV and ABC iview.
If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, help is always available. If you find these topics distressing, please contact 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732, or go to their website here. For mental health support, contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or visit their website here.
