Being a parent often means making tough decisions, always with the best interests of the child in mind.
However, these decisions can sometimes be unpopular with kids, even though they are made with the knowledge and insight that we have gained with years of life experience.
Whether or not to allow our kids to have sleepovers at friends’ houses has been one of those tough decisions and a hot topic of contention in our household for many years.
It’s often a tricky conversation
On one hand, I totally understand my child wanting to have fun with their friends. A sleepover is seen as the classic bonding time to develop friendships.
On the other hand, I have heard far too many horror stories and uncomfortable situations taking place while staying at a friend’s house.
There is a saying with kids’ sleepovers that “nothing good happens after the lights go out”.
Even if it is totally safe and incident-free, kids are always exhausted the next day (sometimes the whole week). That makes for very grumpy people!
Birthday parties add pressure
It is also a popular party activity, putting groups of tired children together with sometimes limited supervision.
It’s often hard to judge whether the other parents have the same rules and boundaries. And how safe and well looked after the party guests will be.
Let’s face it, a group of excited kids for twelve hours is a lot for anyone to handle.
Old memories cause worry
When I was a kid, I went to a few sleepovers, and Mum said I was always awful for the next few days.
She also often got a call during the night to pick me up, as I was scared or homesick.
I don’t have wonderful memories of these occasions.
And knowing the mischief the kids sometimes got up to really makes me nervous.
Of course, sleeping at Nana’s is different!
But outside of that, even when we know the family well, it is just not something we are comfortable with.
Relief for the kids and us
I’m really proud when the kids tell me there is a sleepover and they’ve asked if they can stay until bedtime and then get picked up.
They often then tell me in the car how happy they were to come home, as a lot of the time their social battery is out by then.
It’s a personal choice, and we all make our own decisions, but I feel much better going to bed with all my children safely tucked in their own beds at home with us.
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