Instagram
Content Warning: This article discusses mental health, depression, and suicide and may be distressing to some readers.
James Middleton has recently shared a devastating confession, revealing he once considered “jumping from the rooftop” during a dark period in his life.
The Princess of Wales’ brother is set to release his brand-new memoir, Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life, on September 24. In his book, the 37-year-old candidly discusses the details of his struggle with depression.
James, who is the youngest child in the Middleton family, shared that he used to “contemplate ways of dying” because he felt as though he was on “the brink of madness,” per the Daily Mail.
During his most difficult times, James admitted he struggled to sleep, leaving him “utterly exhausted.”
“I feel misunderstood; a complete failure,” he wrote in Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.
“I wouldn’t wish the sense of worthlessness and desperation, the isolation and loneliness, on my worst enemy. I think I’m going crazy.”
James went on to discuss the privilege he feels to have a “loving and close-knit family.” He is close with his parents Michael and Carole as well as his sister Catherine and Pippa and their husbands, William and James.
During said dark times, James would find himself pushing his family away, forcing himself into isolation.
“I do not answer their phone calls. Emails remain ignored. Invitations to visit go unheeded. I hide behind a double-locked door, unreachable,” he wrote, before opening up about a tragic night in 2017 when he considered taking his own life.
“I wonder, if I jump, could it possibly be construed as a tragic accident? That way my family, although they would grieve desperately, would be spared the added torture of knowing that I had ended my life by suicide,” he wrote.
This isn’t the first time James has opened up about his depression. Over the years, James has made comments about his struggles, even describing his depression as a “cancer of the mind.”
Since he first spoke publicly about his battle, James has made it very clear that his dogs, Ella, Inca, Luna, Zulu and Mabel have played a key role in his recovery, as well as his wife Alizee Thevenet.
Back in 2019, he shared a post on Instagram that said: “Not that long ago I had forgotten what it was like to laugh with genuine happiness- today I don’t have to pretend to smile.”
“I am not cured from depression – I don’t think there is one,” he added.
“However, I have learnt the tools to keep control.”
You can shop James’ book Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life, here.
If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, help is always available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit their website.
