There’s an extra special reason why popular My Kitchen Rules contestant Pete is eager to take out this year’s competition.
If he and his teammate Mike win, Pete plans on donating 25 per cent of his share of the prize money to Perth’s King Edward Memorial Hospital for Women. The hospital and its dedicated staff have helped Pete through some of his darkest times – namely when it comes to his quest to become a father.
In a candid chat with New Idea, Pete, 49, shares that starting a family is something he and his husband Chris, 40, have always longed for.
However, their first attempt at welcoming a child via adoption proved unsuccessful. Pete explains that trying to do so in Australia as a same-sex couple makes it “harder”.
“I don’t like to use the word impossible, but it’s pretty close to impossible,” he tells us.
After trying to foster a child in need (which again did not work in their favour), Pete and Chris had all but given up hope of becoming parents. Then they met Katy and Rae, a lesbian couple who were eager to help them.
“It was nothing short of a miracle. They had been wanting to help someone [have a baby] for several years, but had never found someone they gelled with,” Pete explains. “[It] all seemed very serendipitous, like destiny.”
Using Pete’s sperm and Katy’s eggs, it wasn’t long before they fell pregnant with a boy, who they decided to name Leo. However, at 14 weeks tragedy struck.
“We lost him. I still remember exactly where I was, walking towards the house when I got the phone call. It’s probably the single most traumatic experience that I’ve had,” Pete says, taking a deep breath.
Despite the heartbreak, they were all determined to try again. It took, but sadly, the second pregnancy didn’t go to plan, and it ended with a non-viable birth.
“He was born alive … We got to hold Malachi and say goodbye,” says Pete.
With fingers crossed that it would be third time lucky, the two couples fell pregnant again the following year. This time they had a daughter on the way, Francesca, but they sadly lost her in a traumatic birth.
Pete says the King Edward Memorial Hospital for Women played a huge part in getting him and Chris through their grief.
“I think it’s super important that people realise how common [losing a child] is. It’s OK to talk about it, to be sad and cry about it,” says Pete.
He says when you are experiencing grief that you’ve never experienced before, you need to work on understanding it – and not deal with it on your own.
“Grief changes with time,” he says. “It doesn’t necessarily disappear – it just changes shape, for want of a better word,” he says.
Pete and Chris still light a candle for Leo, Malachi and Francesca every night.
“I’ve got an illogical fear of forgetting their names, which I’m sure would never happen. But just having that moment to light the candle reminds you of them, allows you to say hello or goodnight,” he says.
Pete says his marriage to Chris is stronger for what they’ve been through, and they are open to have another shot at starting their family through fostering.
He adds: “I think in a perfect world, we would be parents to one or two little kids.”
If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the issues in this article, help is always available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14
