It was one of the most momentous nights of her life when she met her love, and Annabelle Wilson jokes she was not exactly dressed for it.
Friends had taken her to a dinner event at the Williamtown Air Force base near Newcastle, NSW, and it was there, wearing American college-themed fancy dress, she fell in love.
“I can still picture the moment I met Josh,” Annabelle says. “I was 19 and he was 22, just back from eight months in Afghanistan. I came with someone else that night but I ditched him for Josh!”
Tragically, Annabelle would soon discover that Josh Wilson, a flight lieutenant with the Royal Australian Air Force, had recently been diagnosed with brain cancer. It is something she attributes to his work, but the causes of brain cancer are largely unknown, so this hasn’t been officially determined.
“Josh was halfway through radiotherapy and he always said I’d got to him just before he lost his hair,” Annabelle, now 37, from Melbourne, says. “It was never difficult though, we figured it out.”
With no experience of the military, this part of Josh’s life was a new world for Annabelle. Still, she was proud of his 10 years of service, including the new roles he carved out for himself in the five years he couldn’t be deployed while in remission from cancer.
“Our first hurdle was when Josh was medically discharged [from the Air Force],” Annabelle says. “I liken it to an Olympian receiving a career-ending injury. There’s a loss of identity, a feeling of what now? A lot of veterans really struggle with this transition.”
Josh went on to study engineering and he and Annabelle got married in 2014. But three years after his discharge, the worst happened. Josh’s cancer returned and on November 25, 2017, aged 31, he passed away. Two months later, their daughter Primrose was born.
“It was a dark period,” Annabelle recalls. “I was a 29-year-old widow with a baby. I was struggling when, through happenstance, I found Legacy.”
The charity, Legacy, supports the families of veterans. As well as helping practically with things like Primrose’s day care, it connected Annabelle with new friends who were in the same boat.
“It gave me self-agency to pick myself up,” she shares.
Legacy became so important to Annabelle that she started working there. It was her advocacy there, and in other veteran organisations, that led her to become the government’s second-ever Veteran Family Commissioner in August 2025.
The job is designed to identify gaps in support for veterans’ families and work to bridge them.
“I am representing families of veterans, just like mine,” Annabelle says, adding that her lived experience is vital. “I’m able to talk about Josh and about our story, and the beauty is that we can effect change.”
Already, she’s looking at how they can better support the mental health of veterans’ children, and on Anzac Day, she’s been instrumental in opening some of the Veterans’ and Families’ Wellbeing Hubs around the country for the day.
“We were hearing families with kids didn’t feel there was a space for them [on Anzac Day],” she says. “It’s where we’ll be going this year.
“We talk about Josh a lot and there are photos all over the house, but [Anzac Day] is an opportunity for Primrose to wear his medals and talk about his service with pride.
“Kids need this support and it’s a focus of mine.”
Eight years since Josh’s death, Annabelle is proud of how she is honouring him while building a future for Primrose through her work.
“He knew I was a fighter! I hope I’m doing him proud. I think I am,” she says.
