Perth mother Jennifer Snell shudders as she recalls the day she checked her emails – and was shocked to find, among the ‘sent’ items, a pornographic photo of herself.
‘There I was naked, in a compromised position, on my own bed. It was clearly taken by my husband, without my knowledge. He’d emailed the picture to a dodgy porn site. I was so shocked when I saw the images, I was physically sick.’
Horrified, Jennifer realised her then-husband had secretly drugged her, then taken the photos when she was unconscious. ‘When he got home from work that day, I told him to pack his bags and leave. He broke down and wept, but I didn’t waver. Our marriage was over.’
The appalling violation was in 2002, but Jennifer says it remains ‘the worse thing that ever happened to me’.
‘Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. Over the years, I’d often woken up feeling so groggy, I could hardly get out of bed. From time to time, my husband had been spiking my evening glass of wine with powerful tranquillisers.
‘He would then photograph me in compromising positions, and send the pictures off to various creepy porn sites that he was connected to. It was a terrible time for me,’ says the mum-of-four. ‘I had to sit down the kids and tell them that Dad was leaving, but because some of them were still so young, I couldn’t explain why,’ she frowns. She explained that her love for her children, and her sense of responsibility to them propelled her to get over the trauma.
In 2007, Jennifer’s ex was convicted of administering a noxious substance with intent to injure or annoy, and aggravated indecent assault, and was jailed for two years.
Jennifer now wants to encourage other victims of what she terms ‘technology-assisted abuse’ to overcome misplaced feelings of shame, and report their abuser to authorities. ‘To any woman who has been a victim of this kind of violation, always remember, you’re not the one who’s done anything wrong. Put any shame to the side, and contact the police immediately.
After overcoming her trauma, Jennifer became a counsellor, deciding she wanted to help other women who’d been victimised by their spouses. ‘I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on anyone,’ she says. ‘But I think it’s made me a stronger, better person.’
How you can help…
The We Care Pack is a bag of toiletry essentials and a pre-paid phone card, which offers a lifeline to women fleeing violence. Thanks to the generosity of White Glo, Essano, Vaseline, Evo, Telstra, Tresemme, Toni & Guy and Dettol, New Idea – with the help of Anglicare Australia – distributed 1000 packs to women in need last week, and is aiming to raise funds for more.
New Idea is raising funds for victims of domestic violence to provide them with We Care Packs. We helped one woman a day in 2016 – but we need your help to do more in 2017. Proceeds will go towards further packs, and as little as $5 can help us deliver this much-needed service for women everywhere.
Please donate at wecarepacks.com.au.
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