Daniel Johns has shared a clip of a Silverchair’s performance at Big Day Out in 2002 while opening up about his struggles during that period.
WATCH: Silverchair performs at 2002 Big Day Out
Getting candid on Instagram, Daniel shared the clip of the group playing ‘The Greatest View’ for the first time live in Australia while revealing he had been struggling with severe physical pain during the performance.
“Trigger warning – this gets dark but I feel safe sharing it here,” he wrote in the caption on Instagram.
“I started experiencing unbearable pain in my joints – I struggled to make it through these shows,” he recalled.
“If you look closely you can see I’m struggling to move. Looking back I think the anxiety of how the record would be received as well as the toll that my battle with anorexia had previously taken on my immune system combined to attack me.
He then explained that at the time he had received a diagnosis of reactive arthritis.
WATCH: Daniel Johns admits he didn’t talk to ex Natalie Imbruglia for ten years
“A specialist advised me to say goodbye to my family every night before bed because he thought I might die,” he recalled.
“At this moment, I realised that much of the Silverchair machine was more of a business than a family. I felt personally responsible for people in our crew who couldn’t work because of my illness.
“While I was undergoing exhaustive treatment both here and abroad, I learned very quickly who loved me as a human being and who needed me a ‘performer’. I really needed a friend back then, instead, I had disgruntled colleagues.
“When my phone did ring it was usually someone asking if I was ready to tour again. Someone in the team even questioned whether I was sick at all and that ‘maybe I just didn’t want to promote the album and I should be forced to tour instead of being ‘mollycoddled’ at home’.”
He went on to say that despite the traumatic experience “wasn’t resentful”.
“I understand everyone was under pressure and the band was putting food on many tables but this was too much to put on me. I was 22,” he added.
“After undergoing months of treatment in Los Angeles, I slowly recovered and word of mouth around Diorama would help it become our highest selling album at home. Take that Frogstomp.”
“We played some magical ‘comeback’ shows. I’d gotten my life back but if I’m honest from this point I never really felt Silverchair would last.”
Daniel ended the caption with a quote from the song’s lyrics, writing, “And finally I know why I feel like you’re letting me go”.
