Mummy blogger Constance Hall has made some honest admissions about how she “cuts corners” when juggling six children in order to stay sane.
NSFW: Constance Hall and husband in explicit video after hotel tryst
The self-described “slummy mummy”, told Mamamia that she recommends skipping baths, getting flatmates so they can babysit and ignoring children’s “white noise”.
When it comes to her parenting hacks, she explained: “You have the choice to judge yourself on floral smelling fabric softener, home baked cakes and spotless floors, or chill the f**k out, laugh a bit louder, turn the music up and love them all that bit harder.”
Here are just some of recommendations:
Flatmates
Constance claims that her children share rooms so she can let their spare room to the likes of female cousins, her stepdad and she currently has a “lovely Māori friend” living with her.
She explained: “My kids get to learn all about other people, form connections, learn stories and I get a break. Most of the time my kids don’t even need to be ‘looked after’ – they have their own sh*t to do – I just need someone here to keep them safe if I duck out, and to keep me sane when my partner isn’t around.”
Food
Among the great advice of not letting mealtimes turn into “tense environments”, Constance also says that she encourages the children to eat off the same plate.
She said: “Dishes are the worst part of dinner. In other cultures, everyone eats with their hands off the same plate. I often put a huge pile of vegetables along with another plate of sliced meat or whatever you’re making. It’s like with dogs: give a dog some dog food and he turns his nose up at it. Introduce another dog and he will race back to competitively eat. It doesn’t always work but there are less dishes.”
White noise and checking out
She said: “I have become so good at blocking out the sound of my kids that once someone had to walk the whole three metres towards me to let me know that my son was crying – screaming in fact. I felt terrible, but that’s the level I had to graduate to in order to stay sane.”
In order to help with her sanity levels, Constance checks out at around 7.30pm.
“Anything you need that’s not an emergency after that is up to you to do. I’m not your mum; I’m not here. I’m not your slave, I’m just a statue of a woman who, an hour ago, wiped your bum and is now drinking wine chatting on the phone to her sister.”
Bathing
She said when it comes to washing kids, every day isn’t necessary and it “won’t kill them”. She’s not wrong.
