The Bachelor runner up Abbie Chatfield has opened up about an abortion she had months before the show started filming.
WATCH: Abbie Chatfield reveals she had an abortion before show
Speaking on the ‘Shameless‘ podcast, the 24-year-old told hosts Michelle Andrews and Zara McDonald that she found it difficult to speak to Bachelor Matt Agnew about having children after her termination.
Viewers of the show may have taken her reluctance to talk about having a family as proof she was only there for fame, however Abbie admitted she “felt guilty” for discussing it because of her recent abortion.
“I think at that time I felt very guilty for saying I wanted kids because I aborted one,” Abbie said.
“(It was) bringing it up with Matt, being embarrassed, being ashamed, being scared that he would think of me differently, as well as being so exhausted of having to explain why I hadn’t said whether I wanted kids to these girls,” she shared.
“I whispered it to him and his producer didn’t hear me and said ‘Abbie you’re going to have to say it out loud’. And then I turned around and looked dead in the camera and said ‘I had a f***ing abortion last year’.”
Abbie confessed that after she told Matt about her abortion she lay crying in her bed, adding that at the time of having the procedure, her boyfriend told her she “wasn’t fun anymore” with the experience leading to her developing a “deep depression”.
“(He) was literally the worst. He went out the night I had my abortion because he wanted to be the boys and have a few drinks even though I was holding onto his shirt saying please don’t leave me,” she said.
Abbie said she feared the conversation between herself and Matt would be shown on The Bachelor.
“I didn’t want the conversation to be aired because I feared public backlash, and I was also dealing with the inner shame myself still at that time,” Abbie told 10 daily.
“I also had people in my life who were close to me who didn’t know that it had happened. It was something I kept somewhat of a secret.”
Abbie was clear that Matt’s reaction was great and that he was extremely supporting, insisting that it didn’t change anything between them at the time.
“I think because Matt was so great about the fact that I had had an abortion it only made my time [on The Bachelor easier]. He finally was able to understand the questions around whether or not I wanted kids and knowing that I had shared that with him made me feel more comfortable around him,” she told the publication.
