Despite having a great relationship thus far, Married At First Sight’s Alyssa and Duncan have now had their first disagreement.
In the latest episode, Alyssa was incredibly frustrated at Duncan for being “friends with everyone”.
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For context (in case you’re not up to date with MAFS), there’s been a huge cheating scandal. Claire and Adam kissed on a drunken night out, betraying their respective partners, Jesse and Janelle.
Not only did Claire and Adam cheat but they repeatedly lied about it. While he didn’t see the kiss, Jesse was very suspicious on the night it occurred, so he accused them of cheating and both Claire and Adam denied it, on multiple occasions.
Of course, the truth has now come out and all the contestants are incredibly disappointed in Claire and Adam for kissing and lying about it for two whole weeks.
However, Alyssa isn’t just disappointed; she’s furious. Before the dinner party, where Alyssa would see Claire and Adam for the first time since she learnt they had indeed cheated, Alyssa told her hubby Duncan that she was not going to “acknowledge” Claire or Adam.
“I’ll tell you right now, I’m not greeting Claire and I’m not greeting Adam. Absolutely not. I would be cheating myself if I was fake to them and said hello to them,” Alyssa said.
But Duncan was a bit more understanding. He explained to Alyssa that while he doesn’t “condone” what Claire and Adam did and he definitely will hold them “accountable” for their actions, he will not completely ignore them; especially because he’s good friends with Adam.
“I’m friends with the guy, he’s done something stupid, he has to own it, I’m not going to support him, I don’t agree with it [but] that doesn’t mean I’m never going to talk to him again,” Duncan said.
After the argument, Alyssa confessed to MAFS producers, “One of the qualities that I love about Duncan, is [that] he is friends with everyone. But at the same time, if that person is a cheater, I’m happy to, very happy to leave that person out.”
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Alyssa and Duncan then had another tiff in the car ride to the Married At First Sight dinner party. Duncan calmly reiterated that you don’t always have to cut people out of your life when they do something wrong; he said that he believes as long as someone owns up to their mistakes and apologises, forgiveness can be an option.
But Alyssa snapped, “Cut it out. You keep repeating yourself. That, ‘I don’t condone his behaviour, I’m gonna pull him up on it…’ You’re condoning his behaviour by even associating with that kind of person.”
And this is where, in my opinion, I find Alyssa extremely hypocritical.
She’s practically saying that every single person who has done a bad thing doesn’t deserve redemption or a second chance. And that she’s very happy for cheaters to be left out in the cold.
But she’s a cheater herself!
During Confessions Week, she told Duncan that she had an affair with a married man. She admitted that she was “the other woman” and she knew that this man was married when she began a relationship with him.
Initially, Duncan was shocked by Alyssa’s confession. He even called her out for doing something so wrong.
“I can understand when people stuff up sometimes, when they go out. But if you, like, willingly went into something with someone who was married then that’s not a mistake, right? That’s a choice. That’s extremely poor behaviour,” he said.
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Ultimately though, Duncan accepted what Alyssa had done and said that her past decisions don’t define her; especially because she was incredibly apologetic about the whole thing and had vowed it would never happen again.
“It’s not something I’m proud of and [I’m] deeply shameful but it’s something that I’ve been able to learn from,” she said.
And this is why I don’t understand Alyssa’s behaviour in the latest MAFS episode.
For starters, she is so hard on Claire and Adam even though she’s been involved in a cheating situation herself; one which was, I’d argue, much worse than Claire and Adam’s.
Secondly, Alyssa is very angry at Duncan for giving his friends a chance to apologise for their mistake but she seemed pretty darn happy when he gave her the chance to apologise for her affair…
It actually boggles my mind that Alyssa was on such a high horse during the latest Married At First Sight’s dinner party when she clearly isn’t a saint.
When she said to Duncan, “You’re condoning his behaviour by even associating with that kind of person,” I actually laughed and then yelled, “Does that mean that Duncan condones having an affair with a married person because he associates with you?!,” at my television screen.
Now, to make myself perfectly clear, I don’t think cheating is acceptable. I’m horrified that Adam and Claire cheated and then lied about it. But I’m with Duncan – everyone makes mistakes! So, as long as someone owns up to those mistakes, sincerely apologises and then grows from it, I would not completely cut them out of my life.
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And of course, if someone kept making the same mistake over and over or never apologised (see: Adam’s behaviour at the dinner party), then yes, Alyssa’s method of leaving that someone out in the cold – metaphorically, I hope – is then appropriate.
I also want to clarify that I don’t think Alyssa is a bad person. I, like Duncan, believe her past affair shouldn’t define who she is now. I just think that she should’ve cut Adam and Claire a tiny bit of slack before the dinner party and she shouldn’t have treated Duncan the way she did…
