Australian mummy blogger Constance Hall is struggling to be heard above a tornado of rampaging children.
“Oh God, my son just climbed on top of the cupboard and he can’t get down,” groans the bohemian mother-of-seven, disappearing on a rapid rescue mission.
No wonder the controversial author, businesswoman, artist, blogger and Dancing with the Stars finalist wearily admits: “I don’t really cope. It just gets harder. Most days I have a mini nervous breakdown!”
WATCH Constance reveal how she was ‘mummy-shamed’ at the airport:
It’s tough to parent a large blended family – Sunny, 17, Zeyke, 14, Billie-Violet, 10, Arlo, 7, twins Rumi and Snow, 4, and one-year-old Raja – and give them the one-on-one time they crave.
Sometimes second husband Denim Cooke, 44, cops an online serve for ‘caveman’ failure to pull his weight with childcare and daily chores around their home in Margaret River, WA.
Speaking to New Idea, she says sometimes they argue, “Because we both want to give our kids so much more than we can, and then turn on each other as a result. It’s so tricky it’s almost impossible, and that’s one area where the two of us really have challenges.”
But it’s the haters and cyberbullies who really make 35-year-old Constance mad, driving her to the brink of suicide after she announced her split from ex-husband Bill Mahon – father of Billie-Violet, Arlo, Rumi and Snow – in April 2017.
“At the end of the day, my children need me and that’s what kept me going, but I was looking at swallowing a bottle of pills and just getting out of here,” she admits, with the trademark honesty that makes her equally loved and loathed.
“I felt there was no other way out, no other way I could escape from the people who were out to get me.”
Sadly, Constance reveals it was personal betrayal that almost pushed her over the edge.
“I discovered that someone I reached out to when I was suicidal – she felt she had nobody – was then sharing my phone number with hate groups. The only reason I gave it to her was because I was scared for her life!”
It was a crushing blow, especially since Constance was enduring a divorce and two other court battles at the time.
“I guess when you’re hating on someone, you don’t know or care what they’re going through,” she sighs, enduringly grateful for support from the 1.3 million Facebook followers (404,000 on Instagram) she calls her social media Queens.
“My engagement to Denim should have been the happiest time of my life,” she says, recalling how she first ran into her widowed ‘soulmate’ at a local skate park with his sons Sunny and Zeyke.
“Instead it was like this entire country loathed me, and loathed me with such vulgar passion.”
In the midst of a vicious online campaign to discredit her, she could not sleep, and some days she could not eat.
Signing on for the Channel Ten reboot of Dancing with the Stars earlier this year, Constance vowed to sashay, waltz and samba for anyone who had ever been trolled as she had.
“Rather than backing out and letting the fear get to me I thought, ‘I’m going to do it and I’m going to show them.’”
Show them she undoubtedly did, shining the spotlight on her chosen Aussie charity, Rafiki Mwema, and coming in third behind contestants Samuel Johnson and drag queen Courtney Act.
It didn’t stop the haters, but it made Constance all the more determined to spread her anti-bullying message to young people everywhere.
And that includes her own kids who, perhaps surprisingly in view of their mother’s notoriety, have not been picked on at school.
“I want them to be little advocates, not bystanders,” she says passionately.
“I want them not to be silenced, but to stand up and make a difference.
“I’m trying to raise sons and daughters who are strong enough to help other kids who need them, rather than being hassled.”
Busy relaunching her online fashion range and writing an ‘inspiring’ book – her fourth, after the success of Like a Queen – about the upside of divorce, Constance is still trying to juggle the ever-changing demands of work and family, with Denim by her side.
“I love what I do, I love being able to share my life’s journey, but I have to find a way to earn money all the time and support all those children! Because we have so many it can be extra hard,” she says.
“It’s just continuous – ‘I need this, do that’ – and of course you’re going to struggle, especially when your energy runs low.”
“I don’t think there’s a system,” she laughs. “I think that’s where we, as mothers, go wrong. What works one day won’t work the next. You’ve got to be open to change, and that’s a really good lesson.
“We want everything to be perfect and set in stone, but that’s not how life is.”
Except, she reckons, for her 18-month marriage to carpenter Denim.
“We are a really strong team, me and him. It doesn’t feel like there’s a problem big enough ever to split us up – although he’s in a better mood when he’s building things, doing what he was born to do, instead of being thrown into my world of bitches online …
“We will survive anything at all, I know that. Isn’t that right, Denim?” It’s impossible to hear his reply. There are too many children yelling in the background.
If you or someone you know needs support, help is available from Lifeline on 13 11 14.
For more, pick up the latest copy of New Idea on sale now!
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