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Speed dealer sunnies.
Just when we thought the fashion world had made up its collective mind about these wrap-around monstrosities, it turns out that they’re making a comeback. Is this the underdog story of the century? Or just another case of the fashion world trolling us, like they did with this pair of 9 foot long jeans that sold out, or when Balenciaga sent their models out on the catwalk wearing platform Crocs. So should we leave the speed dealer glasses in the petrol station next to the CDs where they belong? Or do we buy a pair for ourselves and embrace ‘Sandstorm’ as our new life soundtrack?
We just don’t know anymore. But in the true spirit of Aussie mateship, we’re going to find out all about speed dealer sunglasses so that you don’t have to.
What are “speed dealers”?
Speed dealer sunnies are wrap-around 90’s style sunglasses. They supposedly got their nickname because they were predominantly worn by skaters, people involved in the rave scene where music genres like speed garage have a large following and those that dealt party drugs like amphetamines or ‘speed’ to ravers.
Are they fashionable?
The nickname “speed dealers” isn’t really the same as people referring to Christian Louboutin’s shoes as “red bottoms”. Sure, it’s not a malicious nickname, but it doesn’t lend itself to high fashion either.
Why have they become famous?
These sunglasses have become famous for two reasons.
- Several Facebook meme pages and Instagram accounts exist that are entirely dedicated to making us laugh speed dealer shades.
- For right or for wrong, celebrities just won’t stop wearing them!
Let’s look at a few personalities who are responsible for keeping the speed dealer dream alive!
1. Marilyn Manson
Name: Iconic rocker Marilyn Manson
Speeder Dealers: Marilyn’s speed dealers look like the Cancer Council’s ‘Dapto Sunglasses’, which could be yours for only $49.95
Worn: Marilyn Manson wore these to the 1997 MTV Music Video Awards at Radio City Music Hall, New York.
Hit or Miss?: Even though they make him look like Tommy Wiseau from The Room, we’re going to say they’re a hit. Marilyn’s got a very specific look so he can carry them off.
2. Bella Hadid
Name: Supermodel Bella Hadid
Speeder Dealers: These look very similar to this pair of Acne Studios Pink Bornt Sunglasses which retail at $470
Worn: Bella was on her was to a SZA concert when she threw this fashion killer combo together.
Hit or Miss?: We’re so bitter, but it’s a hit. Bella Hadid can pull off anything.
3. Rihanna
Name: Singer/songwriter and all round bad ass, Rihanna
Speeder Dealers: These sunglasses are the brainchild of the Austrian designer Andy Wolf but the internet loved these so much that you can now by a replica pair on Amazon, the ‘Rihanna Lunettes de Soleil’
Worn: Rihanna wore these to the Cannes Film Festival in May 2017
Hit or Miss?: Mega hit. Rih-Rih is killing it as always.
4. Princess Anne
Name: Anne, Princess Royal
Speeder Dealers: This pair look like the Adidas Evil Eye Halfrim, valued at $144
Worn: Move over Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle, there’s a new fashion killer in town! Princess Ann rocked these speed dealers at the Chelsea Flower Show last year and we are living for it.
Hit or Miss?: Hit. Keep living your best life Princess.
5. Kim Kardashian West
Name: Reality television personality and Keeping Up With The Kardashians star, Kim Kardashian West.
Speeder Dealers: At the time Kim was a face for this Israeli glasses brand, Caroline Lemke.
Worn: Kim debuted this speedy look at the Christie’s auction preview in Beverly Hills last year.
Hit or Miss?: We’re unsure, but this style seems very Kanye and who are we to go against Yeezy?
6. Tony Abbott
Name: Former Prime Minister, now MP, Tony Abbott. Who could have ever predicted that one day Tony would be included in the same list as Kim K and Bella Hadid?
Speeder Dealers: Company Speed Dealers Online sells sunglasses named after this exact incident. You can buy a pair of ‘The Tones’ for $29.00
Worn: Tony felt it was appropriate to hit the campaign trail with these not-so-subtle speed dealers in 2015.
Hit or Miss?: 50/50. It’s not a stylish look, but for someone whose aesthetic is eating raw onions, wearing speedos and running in triathlons it certainly doesn’t surprise us.
