We all need friends for love, companionship and support, but did you know we also crave variety in the special people closest to us? Happiness coach and author Domonique Bertolucci says our friends meet various needs and we should embrace what makes each one unique.
“We need different types of friends in the same way we need different food groups because they all serve different purposes,” she explains.
1) The helpful hero: She puts herself in your shoes and does anything for you
When this thoughtful friend steps up, she really steps up.
“This type of friend is essential because as women it’s in our nature to be the nurturer, to look after other people, and we crave it back to maintain balance and recharge,” Domonique says.
Usually from the same age group as you, this friend will answer your 11pm call about where to track down a late-night pharmacy or bring over a casserole when you’re too busy to cook.
“If you don’t have a friend who can do that for you, that’s when you start to feel something is missing,” Domonique says. “Her way of nurturing might be solving a problem or being there for you emotionally, but in the bigger picture she’s simply someone you can count on.”
2) The forever friend: you’d trust her with anything
Chances are you’ve known this person most of your life, and there’s a reason for that.
“These are the people we knew before we really knew ourselves,” explains Domonique. “They love you unconditionally because they’ve seen you at your best and your worst.”
They always have your back, but often they can go unappreciated.
“The risk is we take them for granted because they’re part of the furniture, they’ve been in our lives forever,” Domonique adds. “Because you know her support is always unconditional it’s easy to only go to her during tough times. Remember, it’s just as important to make time to share the good stuff with these old, trusted friends as well.”
3) The cheerleader: She’s always on your side and peps you up
Whether you have a job interview or a first date, this friend makes sure “you arrive in the perfect frame of mind (and frock).”
“Everybody needs a friend who sends a bit of sunshine your way and does it in a loving, authentic way,” says Domonique.
Sometimes this friend sees qualities in us that we are yet to recognise.
“This is the friend who wants you to be living your best life,” adds Domonique. “She sees opportunities for you to shine and puts in that energy and effort so you can see them too.”
4) The straight shooter: She keeps you grounded
This friend is worth her weight in gold because she knows how to keep it real.
“She’s the friend who keeps you accountable to yourself,” says Domonique. “She doesn’t let you lie to yourself. She’ll call you out on something if she doesn’t think you’re being truthful or knows that you’d be happier getting a second opinion.”
It’s not always easy to hear what she has to say but these reality checks come from a place of kindness.
“She offers up a deeper honesty that you can’t always get from yourself,” adds Domonique. “She’s the one to turn to before you make a big decision, but she’s also the person to say, ‘that might not be the dress for you’ when you’re out shopping.”
5) The fabulous one: She’s up for anything
“When I think about this type of friend, I think of Samantha Jones from Sex and the City,” Domonique says, adding it’s not due to her saucy storylines “but all the other things she represented.”
High-flying businesswoman and socialite Ms Jones is always dressed to the nines and holds amazing parties.
“This friend is definitely in the know,” says Domonique. “You don’t necessarily want her life, but you want to visit it from time to time because everything is more exciting.”
While this friend’s glamorous reality may be vastly different to your own day-to-day life, she finds the friendship equally satisfying.
“There’s nothing put-on or showy about her, she’s not keeping score and she’s willing to share the excitement and glamour of her life, which in turn rubs off on you. It’s the ultimate win-win,” Domonique adds.
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