‘The minute one came off he pushed really hard and literally squirted poo all over me and my clean sheets,’ Constance wrote with typical candour.
‘Rumi refused to wee before bed, no matter how hard I pleaded with him.. 5am “mumma I wee’d in my bed...
‘All of my clothes are covered in breast milk... And low and behold.... my washing machine and dryer f****d themselves blowing up the power points.
‘I forgot how life with a baby always has a way of leaving you looking at the sky waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell you you’ve been punked,’ Constance wrote.
Her revelation came just days after she described her first week with her newborn boy as ‘heaven’.
The Perth-based blogger – whose partner Denim has two children of his own – took to her popular Facebook page to explain how she felt ‘so much less stressed’ than ever before.
‘If he’s awake he’s feeding, sucking on my boobs or looking for boobs on Denim or the kids until his frustration turns to the cutest scream and Denzy hands him over.
‘I’m possibly creating a mini-monster because he’s never out of someone’s arms, if we put him in a baby swing or bassinet he screams and someone runs to his aid.
‘At the moment he’s waking up 2-3 times a night and I’m not feeling tired at all, my pregnancy sleep was way worse then this.
‘But I’m not bragging, I know the fastest way to get a good sleeping new born to become the worst sleeping baby is by bragging.
‘Co sleeping is really working for us, it’s not for everyone but we just love it.‘The kids are his biggest fans, home from school, ditch the school bag, “where’s the baby?”
The proud mum said she doesn’t know how she ever lived without her new family addition.
‘We stare at each other for hours, sometimes he’s asleep on my lap so I look at photos of when he was awake,’ she confessed.
‘It’s ridiculous and it’s heaven.’