But that hasn’t deterred Amanda, who has even married him by chartering a boat into international waters so the union would be legal.
‘I’d be the first to admit that it’s not like a normal relationship,’ Amanda tells New Idea. ‘But he is my soulmate. I am so happy – it is the perfect kind of relationship for me.
‘There are a lot of people out there who don’t know about spiritual relationships, but it could be right for them – I want to get the message out there.’
Amanda had always been interested in mediumship – the ability to contact spirits from beyond the grave. And after learning the basics, she says one particular spirit kept trying to contact her.
‘Initially, I really wasn’t that interested in making contact,’ she explains. ‘He tried to contact me two, three times and I kind of just ignored him.
‘The next thing, I feel this energy lying in the bed beside me. And the next day I was driving in my car to the bank and he was there again in the passenger seat.’
Amanda began chatting to the ghost, who claimed to have been a 1700s pirate who’d been executed on the high seas. After a while, Amanda says she became attracted to the spirit.
Although she couldn’t see him, he described himself as tall, black and handsome, with a head of thick, curly hair.
Amanda says they soon began making love together and she could feel his energy inside her.
‘We became really close. The more I learnt about him, the more I liked him,’ she explains.
‘One day he said to me: “We can actually be together you know,” but I had never heard of an intimate relationship between a spirit and a human.
‘I did some research and found out that it is a real thing and there are lots of people in spiritual relationships, but not many people talk about it.’
Amanda had previously been married to a ‘physical being’ and had five kids with him. But she says nothing compares to her relationship with Jack.
After two years together, Amanda, from Northern Ireland, told him she wanted commitment – and marriage.
‘Jack proposed to me,’ Amanda explains. ‘I told him I wasn’t really cool with having casual sex with a spirit and I wanted us to make a proper commitment to each other.
‘If I am going to be in a long-term relationship, I have the right to be married.
‘I wanted the big traditional wedding with the white dress, it was very important to me.’
Amanda found a Shaman priest and legal registrar who agreed to marry the couple – despite their unusual dynamic.
There is no provision in UK law for posthumous marriages, so the couple took a boat into international waters in the Atlantic Ocean, off the Irish coast, for their ceremony.
Marrying a dead person is legal in certain countries, such as France, Singapore and China, so by going into waters that aren’t governed by any particular country, Jack and Amanda’s union can be upheld.
Amanda chose a 1700s- style dress – similar to the ones from Jack’s time – to wear to the ceremony. She also held a flag bearing a skull and crossbones as a symbol for her husband.
‘I told him I didn’t want him to see the dress before the wedding, but if he had a cheeky sneak peek while I was trying it on, I wouldn’t know,’ she admits.
‘I don’t know where he is or when he is around most of the time – it is hard to keep secrets from him.’
The couple also had matching rings designed for the ceremony.
Because Jack can’t wear a ring, it was fitted to a candle, which was used to represent him during the ceremony.
Only 12 people – Amanda’s closest family and friends – were allowed on board the boat as it powered into the sea.
They then enjoyed a wedding reception and honeymoon in Newcastle, Northern Ireland, not far from Amanda’s home in Downpatrick.
Now Amanda says she signs all documentation as married and would even go to court to uphold her unusual relationship.
Spaces are always set for Jack at the dinner table, his name is included in Christmas cards and he makes his presence felt by turning household lights and electrical items on and off.
The couple even go out for date nights to the cinema or to restaurants and bars, where Amanda says Jack can feel the sensation of eating and drinking through her, also known as embodiment.
Amanda now says going out with a ghost is something every woman should consider if they can’t find the right man in the physical realm.
‘For me, it is much more about a spiritual and emotional connection, than it is about the physical looks and the physical body. It really works.’
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