How do you know if you're actually climaxing? And what to do you if you’re struggling to get there? Buckle up. Here we go.
What is an Orgasm?
According to the dictionary, it's a noun meaning a climax of sexual excitement, characterised by feelings of pleasure centered on the genitals and experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation. Recent scientific studies have proven that both men and women ejaculate.
The Science of an Orgasm - How do Orgasms Work?
Let's start by breaking down the body's sexual response in 4 stages:
- Plateau of Arousal
Sounds pretty officious but actually our bodies are very efficient pleasure vehicles. Sheer ecstasy is underpinned by physiological responses. When we are aroused the brain stimulates blood flow to the genitals. Heartbeat and breathing increases. The central nervous system becomes fully engaged and sends signals of pleasure to your brain's reward system. Thousands of nerve endings constantly relay pleasure signals to your brain, resulting in an orgasm. It’s like magic. But it’s actually science.
Under an MRI Scan during sexual intercourse, 30 regions of the brain experience activity and fill with anticipatory and feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. The hormones that stimulates bonding and love between mates. Kudos to the couple that had sex under the MRI in the name of science!
Female Orgasm vs Male Orgasm : How Do They Differ?
Don’t let our dissection disillusion you. Perhaps all you need to know is IT FEELS FREAKING GOOD. Every lick, touch, caress, hold, thrust, pull, and other stimulation contributes to achieving climax.
A woman can achieve multiple goals in the pleasure zone. Orgasm is more obvious for a man because of the visual nature of ejaculation. But women have the ability to put more runs on the board in a single session.
Length of Orgasm
● Women's orgasms typically last for 10-15 seconds, but there are some who reported it can last for more than a minute.
● Men's orgasms last about 5-10 seconds.
Time to Reach an Orgasm
- Women tend to take between 10 and 20 minutes to reach orgasm
- Men typically take closer to 7-14 minutes.
Women can experience multiple orgasms and in very close succession. There are even studies that some are able to fit up to 7 orgasms into 16 minutes! Double woah. While men need a break after experiencing ejaculation
Types of Female Orgasms and Tips on How to Achieve Them
How does a female know when she is coming? These orgasms result from direct stimulation of the clitoris, and are described as "localised, sharp, bursting, and short-lasting," says NeuroQuantology.
Tip: The best way to experience a clitoral orgasm is by masturbation. Just like the Chrissy Amphlett song 'I Touch Myself'. It differs from woman to woman but stimulation of the clitoris through rubs, massages, fast, or slow is the most common and quickest way to climax.
2. Skin Orgasm
Probably the least known way to orgasm is music. Men can apparently experience this as well as women. Goosebumps you get when you hear great music can actually lead to orgasm. That tingling sensation where all the hair of your body rises up is called a "Frisson." Incredibly, music and mental stimuli can lead to climaxing without getting physical at all. Talk about putting on the romantic tunes to get you in the mood.
Tip: If you want to experience good old fashioned frisson. Listen to classical music like Beethoven or Mozart. It may well mesmerise you enough to take you there. But you're more likely to experience goosebumps and the good thing that can follow, if you know the music well and the melody or lyrics cause your brain to think sexy thoughts.
This also known as the oft elusive vaginal orgasm. Experiencing a vaginal orgasm is rare because it doesn't happen to all women. Vaginal orgasms are achieved by stimulating a certain spot in the vaginal canal called the G spot. Fellas, (and Ladies) find that spot please. Pretty please. Not all that easy as that spot varies from person to person.
How does a woman know when she has climaxed from hitting the g-spot? Well it’s said, sensation runs across the whole body and lasts longer than orgasms achieved only through the clitoris. From the vagina, to the uterus, and even spinal and brain tingling. Stimulating the g-spot also help women achieve multiple orgasms.
Tip: The G-Spot is located on the front wall of the vagina. Let your partner know that it feels spongy and rougher than other areas of your vagina. Sex shouldn’t have to be rough to experience euphoria. Start it slow with a combination of different speed. If you don't have a partner with a penis, try using a dildo or vibrator.
4. Best of Both Worlds
This orgasm is level up. It’s apparently called a blended orgasm and happens when both the clitoris and the g-spot are stimulated simultaneously. Just thinking about it makes me excited and exhausted. It's the mother of all orgasms and probably for most of us mere mortals, the unattainable holy grail. A double whammy orgasm like this can last anywhere from 1-15 minutes. No way! Yes way. This is the best orgasm experience EVER. So they say.
How to get more: "Some women find that the best position for orgasm is missionary because their clitoris is also being rubbed through penetration" says Jane Greer, PhD, a New York-based marriage and sex therapist. The sexual position "woman-on-top" is recommended because it gives you control on which spots are receiving stimulation.
What Does an Orgasm for a Woman Feel Like?
It’s so difficult to put something so personal into words but we’ve tracked down a true tell-all from real women on how an orgasm actually feels. These woman spoke to Cosmopolitan magazine and answered one the trickiest questions around.
"I have so much pleasure going on inside of me, the only thing I can do is feel my body react, whether I start shaking, or feel a wave of hot and then calm wash over me. It almost hurts, so you want more and you want it to stop at the same time, and then you cross a line into an orgasm, and then when it's a big one, it's just totally consumes you." — Alexandra
"I experienced one orgasm that almost made me feel like I blacked out. It started with that pulsating feeling, then my head was spinning, my body shaking uncontrollably. It was like a volcanic eruption... But down there. Then I collapsed beside him, unable to move, think, or speak." — Haley
"I know when it starts because every muscle begins to tighten and my upper thighs begin to quiver. I break out in a light sweat and it feels as if a faucet is being turned on inside me. I know the big O is complete when I feel like I need a snack and a nap." — Nina
"I would describe it as every ounce of sexual energy being sucked from my body, starting at my toes and fingertips, and working its way in until it pulses from my vagina. Then once it's over, I'm a noodle." — Jaclyn
"It's a total body experience where everything disappears except for the hot, tingly sensation that makes you feel like you're being pulled from all sides." — Lexi
"My breathing gets irregular, I can't focus on anything, and I lose myself. My whole body stops moving, and I just want to clench up and enjoy the explosion that's erupting throughout my entire body. It feels overwhelming but so awesome at the same time. I end up falling on top of my husband telling him to stop moving." — Heather
"When I orgasm, I shake so bad I have to grab my man's hand and squeeze it until I am done. I get so hot and my body spasms. Sometimes my legs even lock up." — Vanessa
"It's like an overwhelming feeling of tingles throughout your body. You're light-headed, your vision goes blurry, and all you can feel is an instant lightness of your body and amazing sensation in your clitoris." — Chelsea
There are other ways to achieve happiness besides experiencing the big-O. But I do hope this article helps you achieve the orgasm of your dreams and may the g-spot odds be ever in your favour!