Davey was right - Jake is an “f-ing dog” for cutting his lunch. He should NOT have got that rose. Flo - what were you thinking?
Um, so what just happened on Bachelor in Paradise? We all saw that, right? Flo gave Jake a rose. Jake!
It it really, totally should NOT have happened.
How on earth did Flo - lovely, sweet, innocent Flo - end up in the middle of a love triangle. Between Davey and Jake, of all people? And why, oh why, did she just give a rose to Queensland’s Biggest Player?
OK, so I don’t know for sure that Jake Ellis is, in fact, King of the Goldie, as Tara insists. And I don’t for sure know that “everyone on the Gold Coast has a Jake Ellis story” as Tazzla proclaims.
But I’m just putting it out there - I’m tending to believe he’s not the best dude on the island for our Flo.
Because, fact: Jake had his chance with Flo-rider on the outside when they were both back in the real world - and he didn't take it.
I’m still a bit sketchy on why they didn’t get together and stay together. But from what I can gather, and to use a phrase from another of my guilty plesh reality trainwreck shows - Jake “hit it and quit it” right?
So why on earth is Florence giving him a second chance?
Also - and here’s where I’m totes siding with Michael (side note - who knew he would turn out to be the voice of reason in this season) - Jake totally did the dirty on Davey.
Regardless of what you think of him, you have to admit, Davey acted with nothing but decorum in his wooing of Florence. He respected the fact his friend had once had a fling with her, and even though he’d told Florence that he obviously had a thing for her, he refrained from cutting his mate’s lunch.
Bravo David, my son.
Which makes it even worse that Jake then sidled in and swept Florence up on that romantic waterfall date (which he totally the took full credit for setting up, FYI. Um, how dumb do you think we all are, Jakey? Do you really think we thought you trekked out to that secluded watering hole, laid out all those Kmart scatter cushions, and set the scene for seduction? As IF!)
So yeah - Jake doesn’t deserve that rose. And he doesn’t deserve Flo. And I call BS on his intentions. Who else thinks he’s all about just staying in the game, and not about capturing the heart of everyone’s cute little Dutch milkmaid?
I’m totally right - right?
This article originally appeared on WHO.