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What Is Sexting? What Can You Expect?
Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or images to another person. Some couples use it as foreplay before meeting up for a full-on romp. Others, especially those in long-distance relationships, can enjoy sexting and online dirty talk all on their own.
Sexting is a completely normal and fun way to express your love or desire. It can add spice into your sex life, promote more intimacy in your relationship, and make your partner feel wanted.
There are many things that could constitute sexting. Short, flirtatious messages like “I’m going to ravage you when I get home” to hours-long roleplay via text all fall under the umbrella of sexting.
How To Initiate Sexting
Spontaneity is one of the major elements of sexual desire; not being able to predict what happens next naturally increases feelings of anticipation and excitement. But not everyone responds well to a surprise sext, so it’s important to initiate sexting the right way.
One of the easiest ways to initiate sexting is simply talking about it! Before sending out any dirty texts, bring up the topic with your partner. Are they comfortable with it? Do they have any limits? Laying out things beforehand will make it easier for you to sext in the future.
But if you feel the moment is right, go ahead and send a text! You could start off slow and subtle with something like “Tell me what you’re wearing right now”, or you could recount a sexy memory to get things going.
Best Sexting Messages: Tips For Sexier Sexts
Tip #1: You Don’t Have To Go Big Or Go Home
The secret to fun, natural sexting is to just relax, be yourself, and go with what’s comfortable for you! So you don’t need to break out all the dirty words you know. Sexting can be silly, jokey, playful, or mysterious. It can be sexually explicit or coy. There’s no one way to sext, so get creative! Even a simple “I miss having you in my bed” can be one of the hottest texts to send a guy or girl.
Examples:
“I had an interesting dream about you.”
“Guess what I’m thinking about right now.”
“I hope red’s your favourite colour because it’s what I’m wearing under my clothes right now!”
Tip #2: Be Responsive
When you start sexting, you need to commit. Take too long to reply (or leave too curt of a reply), and your sexting partner might think you’re disinterested in the conversation. This doesn’t mean you have to drop everything and sext – in fact, sexting while you’re supposed to be busy with something else can be a little thrilling. But make sure you respond to your partner and make them feel wanted, just like you would want in return.
Tip #3: Get Visual
Sexting pics and nudes is an art. Done right, it will drive your partner into a frenzy! Take a sexy pic (or two or three) that makes you feel good about yourself. Confidence is sexy! If possible, take it in natural light.
If you’re not ready to send a sexy picture, you can go the cheeky route with a good ol’ fashioned meme. Sexting memes may sound like the opposite of sexy, but if you and your partner have a good sense of humour, it can be just as arousing as any nude!
Sexting Etiquette: Limits And Rules Of Sexting
If you want to be a thoughtful, compassionate partner, there are a few things you need to keep in mind while sexting.
Rule #1: ALWAYS Get Consent
Sexting is fun – if it’s wanted. Otherwise, it’s just harassment. Make sure that the guy or girl you are sexting has actually given their 100% enthusiastic “yes!” to what you’re doing. If they express discomfort or flat-out say no, R-E-S-P-E-C-T their wishes.
If you continue sending sexually-charged messages to someone who doesn’t want it, don’t be surprised if they shame you on social media, bring it to the police, or both!
Rule #2: Be Mindful Of Time And Place
While a sext out of nowhere can be a pleasant, sexy surprise, there’s nothing worse than receiving one at the wrong time. If you’re going to engage in sexting while at work or with family, make sure you keep it discreet. It saves everyone from mega embarrassment.
Rule #3: Don’t Sext And Tell
Do not share your partner’s sexts with anyone else unless you have their explicit permission. And definitely do not share your partner’s nudes with anyone else! Sexting is a very romantic, intimate, and vulnerable thing; if you share it without your partner’s consent, you’re definitely breaking their trust and potentially even breaking the law.
Rule #4: Don't Sext Outside Of Your Relationship
Unless you’re in a non-monogamous relationship, sexting with someone whom you’re not dating IS cheating. Just because you’re not engaging in sexual activity offline doesn’t make it any less hurtful.
Rule #5: Don't Sext With A Minor
It really depends on where you live, but in most countries, sexting that involves a minor (even if both parties are under 18) falls under child pornography. Tread carefully and leave the sexting to the adults.
Conclusion
Nobody is born knowing how to dirty text – it’s a skill you develop through time and practice. This guide will get you through the basics of sexting, but it’s all up to you to make it happen. Remember, sexting is fun and completely normal between consenting adults, so shed that shame and sext away!
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