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The Internet Is For Porn
Although the Avenue Q song “The Internet is for Porn” was written to be tongue-in-cheek, it does hold some truth. Pornography has always been popular (especially among young males), but the internet has made it instantly accessible to everyone.
Before, kids had to secretly pass around magazines and tapes. Today, they can simply visit a porn website on their phone or laptop. And even if they don’t actively go out and search for it, kids can still get exposed to sexually-explicit material through social media or pop-up ads.
Because of the ubiquity of porn online, parents in the internet age are faced with a new problem: how do you ‘shield’ your kids from inappropriate images and videos when it’s so easily accessible? Should you even try to shield them at all, or is there another, smarter way of dealing with it?
The Impact Of Pornographic Material On A Child
Most parents would agree that children shouldn’t be watching pornography. But you also can’t deny that it’s pretty much inevitable that your kids will, one day, eventually stumble upon it one way or another. So what’s the harm?
Quite a lot, as studies have shown. Pornography can be detrimental to your children in many ways, such as:
- Sexual imagery can be scary, intimidating, and confusing for younger kids.
- Some pornography promotes sexual violence, the objectification of women, and other unrealistic attitudes about women and sex. For young boys, this could teach them to treat women as sexual objects. For young girls, this could teach them that their worth is based on their sexual attractiveness or availability.
- Pornography could set up unrealistic expectations for how you should look or how you should perform or act during sex, causing self-esteem issues in the future.
- Early exposure to porn could encourage your kids to engage in risky sexual behaviours with other children.
How To Stop Kids From Watching Porn
Be Calm, Patient, & Understanding
The worst thing you can do at this point is be judgmental and punitive. You were once a child or teen curious about sex, extend your child the same compassion you wish your parents could have extended to you. Act with understanding so that your kids are more likely to trust you and open up. And make sure to reassure them that their sexual feelings are valid and normal!
Make It Clear That It’s Not Okay
Although it’s natural for your kids to be curious about sex, it’s perfectly acceptable to set house rules about how they explore their sexuality. Set boundaries and make it clear that it’s not appropriate for someone their age to view or share pornographic pictures, videos, and other materials. Don’t forget to help them understand why – this will make them more likely to follow your rules.
Discuss Consent, Boundaries, & Real Sex
This is a great opportunity for you to dispel some myths and harmful notions when it comes to sex. Talk to your child about how sex in real life and sex in porn are different. Discuss the importance of consent when engaging in any kind of sexual activity with someone else. Don’t just take away their porn, help them cultivate healthy attitudes towards their bodies, other people, and sex in general.
Limit & Monitor Their Internet Use
Come up with strategies on how to prevent future porn exposure with your child. This will most likely involve creating rules around internet use, such as limiting their internet time or placing their computer in a public or shared room in your home.
You could also use parental controls that block adult sites, with the knowledge and agreement of your child. Resist the temptation to be too controlling, since that could encourage your kids to be dishonest and go behind your back instead.
Encourage Them To Come To You
If your kids are watching porn, it’s most likely because they’re curious about sex and don’t know who to turn to. Be that person for your child. Use age-appropriate language (e.g. penis, vagina, breasts) and encourage them to ask questions. Direct them to reliable resources online. And while you’re answering your kids’ queries, make sure to teach them important lessons about compassion and responsibility along the way.
Online Pornography FAQs For Parents
Is it illegal to watch porn in Australia?
Pornography laws differ from state to state. But generally, no, it is not illegal for adults over 18 to watch porn. However, there are prohibited porn categories which usually include BDSM elements or fetish play.
How do kids find porn on the internet?
Most kids accidentally stumble upon sexually explicit content, like through pop-up ads or explicit versions of their favourite kids cartoon. Porn can also be introduced to your child by classmates, friends, or older siblings.
Where can I find support for parents?
There are many online resources about internet safety and online pornography for parents, such as:
Conclusion
Pornography is a tricky subject for adults, even more so for kids. But if you deal with it the right way, you can stop your kids’ porn viewing habits and you provide your children with the tools for healthier sexual and romantic relationships in the future.
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