There are traditional Australian names and there are Aboriginal Australian names. But there is also the long held Australian tradition of picking one of the most bogan names when naming your newborn. And while there is some concern bogan names may be going extinct, it would seem even royals are considering getting in on the action.
At an official do back in November, Prince Charles joked about the bogan names his future grandchild might be called:
“My son Harry tells me that during their recent tour of Australia, he and his wife [Meghan] were offered countless thoughtful suggestions for the naming of their forthcoming baby. Just between us, I suspect that Kylie and Shane may possibly make the shortlist.”
Now while those two names have long been standards in the Aussie Hall of Bogan Fame, naming expert Sabrina Rogers-Anderson has many offerings we should consider, in her The Little Book of Bogan Baby Names.
“We all have a bit of bogan in us that needs to be celebrated. Truth be told, I can’t help but like some of these names just a little bit,” she says.
Here is our list of 15 of the best bogan baby names:
15. Chontelle
As well as the gold standard of Kylie and Shane, classic bogan girl names such as Chontelle and bogan boy names like Dwayne will identify you as a member of the tribe. Names like Jaxon and Maddison – a different spelling of Jackson and Madison – are gaining such popularity, they even made the McCrindle top 100 lists of Australian names for boys and girls with Jaxon at No. 49 and Maddison at 50.
14. Astoria
Talk about fancy, the Waldorf-Astoria hotel is one chi-chi place to name your daughter after, even though without the Waldorf prefix it could sound more like a chain of self-serve storage facilities. Try also other aspirational names of things you find around rich people, like Mercedes.
13. Slash
Why not the name of a celebrity? “Since Axl and Axel have been appropriated by celebrities and hipsters, the bogan set has decided to one-up them with Slash. It’s fine for a rock star, but much too violent for an everyday boy,” says Sabrina.
12. Vientiane
Under the category of miscellaneous bogan names comes this one. Actually if you chose it because it is the capital of Laos, you might escape the bogan title. If you chose it because you thought it was how you spell Venetian – as in blinds – not so much.
11. Vanity
One of the seven deadly sins, this is one of the best examples of the category of names called after vices. Could Vanity’s sister be Gluttony, perhaps? A subcategory of these kinds of names are types of alcohol, such as Chardonnay, Hennessy, even Jack Daniels. (Out-there singer Cardi B’s nickname is said to come from a rearrangement of Bacardi)
‘Just because you spent the Saturday nights of your youth skulling Bacardi Breezers doesn’t make it an adequate name for your offspring,’ says Sabrina.
10. Jewelz
Well if you are going to pick a random word as a name you may as well pick something people want. And of course, jazzing up the spelling with a ‘z instead of an ‘s’ makes it all that more bogan.
9. Aayden
A new trend in bogan made-up names is ones that drop the first letter, such as this one, which could have started as Jayden. Or Hayden, which also has found new bogan life as Haydee. Then there’s Lijah, which descends from the perfectly respectable Elijah.
8. Bexleigh
The queen of mash-up names is a clever segue of the girls’ names Rebecca and Leigh and a perfect strategy when mum and dad can’t agree on a name. But boys shouldn’t miss out – how about Jarren, a conglomerate of classic bogan names Jarrod and Darren?
7. Huntah
A bogan tradition is taking a perfectly classic name, like a male name with a brave and strong association such as Hunter, and boganifying it by misspelling it. See also Xytl, which started life as Crystal.
6. Princ’ess
Why the random apsotrophe? Why not? It’s fanc’ier!
5. Kaos
The trend for gloomy titles finds its perfect form in this child’s name that combines the misspelling of Chaos with an overwhelming sense of doom.
4. Nevaeh
Just like Heaven, only backwards. For this trend, see also Trebor (Robert) and Legna (Angela – but drop an ‘a’) – perfect when you feel obliged to name your kid after a parent but want to juzj it up. Then there is Enivid – aka Divine backwards.
3. Haze
Whether it was chosen to represent morning fog over the city or because the parents love the thought of a cigarette smoke-filled room, neither is a good reason to pick this example of a double-meaning name.
2. Yvonne
Misspelled names are bad enough, but a fashion for mispronounced names has produced this pretty one for a female – until you realised the parents have chosen to pronounce it Why-ven-knee.
1. ABCDE
Pronounced Ab-si-dee, this is our pick for the best bogan name. But is it real, or just the worst example of an urban-legend names?If it is real, it should definitely join the list of banned baby names.
For Sabrina’s latest pick of bogan names, click here.
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