When did you first discover that Jake was cheating?
In September 2020. He went out to watch the AFL Grand Final and had a massive bender – we both came home on the Sunday of that weekend. I had been away with my girlfriends when his best friend of 20 years prompted me to check his phone. That’s when I got a hold of all the messages between him and another woman. I kicked him out the next day.
Were there any signs prior to that moment?
He was always secretive with his phone – I could never get it off him, and he had locks on everything. In hindsight, there were a million red flags, but I assumed he would never do that to me. I used to receive a lot of messages from girls anonymously saying they had been with him. One even called me at my work! But I never had any proof – I didn’t have any evidence of my own. He swore black and blue he wouldn’t do that, and I believed it.
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What specifically did you uncover that night?
I found messages that I would describe as explicitly sexting. I found texts where he had texted this girl asking if she wanted to sleep with him. He denied it all for two days and tried to tell me his mate had his phone and did it all. I later tried to call this girl, before quickly screenshotting all the texts to my phone so I had the proof, and she texted him and said, “Your fiancée is trying to contact me – I don’t want to get involved,” but I had his phone and she essentially confirmed my worst fears.
So you confronted him?
He eventually admitted it and confessed to knowing her for about a decade. He told me they had been meeting up for coffee every couple of months, but I didn’t know anything about it or her! He was building a relationship with her and I had no idea. Three days later, I called off my wedding six weeks before I was meant to marry him in front of 150 guests.
How did you feel after discovering all of this?
Sick to my stomach! I went to my girlfriend’s house and just broke down. I thought there’s no way this could be him. I was in complete shock reading the messages.
On-screen Jake is worlds apart to what you’re describing now…
He has told me, after seeing multiple counsellors, that he will never be satisfied with anyone – he told me that, that’s half the issue. He didn’t want to sleep with me, obviously because he was getting it elsewhere, with girls that looked nothing like me. It’s very sad. He will never be happy with one woman – he needs constant validation and attention.
This was not just a shock to you, but your family – how did they react?
He lived with me and my parents for two and a half years so that we could save money. We were planning on having a baby, we were paying off our wedding deposits – everything was fine, and so my parents were so upset by all of it. My nan was devastated by it all. Everyone that was close to us and me has been so rattled – he was 100 per cent part of our family. My parents now just say they don’t know who he was for those four years.
Where has this situation left you currently?
Well, my life’s been turned upside down! We planned to have children straight after getting married...now I haven’t even dated for a year and a half. We bought a house together, and Jake left me living in a house that I couldn’t afford to pay off.
Do you believe Jake should have been allowed on MAFS?
The thing is, he’s such a good actor. The perfect word to describe him is a narcissist. He plays a character – he did that with me for four years. But if producers did their homework on the participants, he would never have made it through.
The reality is, my family can’t even watch TV – his face pops up everywhere! When I first watched the trailer for his wedding, that broke me – just to see him taking part in a wedding that I never had... he went on TV to get married to a stranger after cheating on me. It makes me feel sick.
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