Admitting to someone that you’re interested in them romantically can be so difficult.
For one, sometimes it feels like you’re doing something wrong, or causing inconvenience by doing it. The word “admitting” does have those implications, just like you’re “admitting” to wrongdoing, or “admitting” a lie.
Besides that, even if you rationally know that rejection won’t be the end of the world, it doesn’t feel that way from an emotional perspective.
While everyone’s going to have their own methods, and different things will work with different people, there are a few tips that you can keep in mind when you’re telling someone you like them.
In this article, we explore what to do, what to say, and how you should be doing it!
How To Tell A Guy That You Like Them
The first thing to keep in mind is that you don’t actually need to say “I like you!” up front! Telling someone explicitly that you like them isn’t the only way of expressing interest. Here’s how to show a guy that you like him, rather than just telling him.
For starters, you can regularly show them that you’re genuinely happy to see them. Chances are, this won’t be hard for you to do if you’re genuinely interested!
Second, you can show your appreciation for them. There are tons of ways to do this, from giving gifts and remembering their favourite food whenever you hang out, to supporting them at competitions or events they’re managing.
Finally, sharing something unique between the two of you—maybe it’s a TV series or a regular event that you only attend when you’re together, or perhaps a nickname. Whatever it is, it should show that you share something special that could grow into something more.
The best way to tell someone you like them will be tailored to their preferences, and will be rooted in your relationship with them.
Is There A Wrong Way Of Telling Someone You Like Them?
There’s no universally ‘correct’ way of telling someone you like them, but there are very wrong things you can do that will ruin your chances, or even embarrass yourself and the person you’re admitting to.
Making A Big Deal Out Of It
It’s important to stay chill when you’re thinking about expressing interest. When you overthink things or plan too hard, your admission may come off as unnatural and awkward. Plus, you’re making it worse for yourself if things unfortunately go south.
Making A Public Declaration
All those cute wedding proposals that are filmed in public might seem like #goals at first, but really they put a great deal of pressure on the person being proposed to. The only right time to make a public proposal is if both parties have generally already talked about marriage, and there are signs that they’re mostly just waiting for one or the other to propose.
Similarly, when telling someone you like them, you have to make it easy for them to give you a straight answer without being watched by a crowd. Reading out a love letter to someone in public is the very definition of pressuring them to respond positively. And it makes it all that much worse if you’re turned down!
Saying “I Love You!!!” Right Off The Bat
Please don’t say this. These words are extremely powerful, and won’t feel authentic if you drop them as your admission. And you don’t really love the person you have a crush on, you like them, and want to get to know them better in a more intimate context.
Doing It Over Text
We might live in a wonderful world of tech, but the best way to express your feelings for someone is still in person. Leave the SMS, Facebook, and Snapchat declarations behind. Unless you’re in a long-distance relationship, this should be done face-to-face.
A Step-By-Step Guide To Telling Someone You Like Them
Still looking for more guidance? Here are the specific steps to making the first move.
1. Find Out If They’re Actively Pursuing Someone
‘Actively pursuing’ is an important metric here, because almost everyone has an interest in someone already. If the person you like is already taking someone out on regular dates, admitting your feelings might be a problem.
At the same time, it doesn’t mean that just because they’re pursuing someone, you automatically lose your shot. Feel it out, see if they’re open to others, then feel free to make your move.
2. Choose A “Right” Moment
The best time to express your feelings for someone is when the environment is relaxed. You don’t want to be declaring how you feel when they’re studying for an exam or preparing for a major pitch. Instead, choose a nice setting, like a diner or restaurant that you guys regularly go to. Or maybe you can hang out at the other’s place, where you have a little more privacy.
But don’t wait too long. The right moment may come and go without you making a shot, and then suddenly it’s back to the waiting game. If you’re making excuses about ‘waiting for the right moment,’ then it’s actually time to make your admission ASAP.
3. Use Simple, Unambiguous Language
Don’t be overdramatic about your declaration. You don’t need a Hollywood-style quotable quote to impress them.
When you like someone, what does that mean? You want to get closer to them in ways that are more intimate and possibly romantic. You enjoy your time with them and they make you feel special, and they’re special to you too.
Want to know how to tell your crush you like them? Condense these idle, lofty thoughts into a simple form that can’t be interpreted any other way.
Here are some cute ways you can express your feelings.
“We’ve been spending a lot of time together, and you really make me feel special. I want you to know that I think you’re special to me, too.”
This has some pretty good optics behind it. It demonstrates a two-way recognition of how close you two are.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and I want you to know that I really appreciate you.”
One of the absolute best, sweet things to say to anyone is that you appreciate them. In the context of your relationship, this should be just enough to trigger the “I like you” detection sensors in almost any guy.
“Do you want to go out with me?”
‘Go out’ is pretty unambiguous these days.
“I like you.”
Perhaps the best of all the things to say to someone you like, this one skips all the drama and buildup and gets straight to the point.
Bonus Advice: Be Their Friend
When you really like someone—as in, really, truly like someone—that ‘like’ can come from a lot of places. It could be a physical attraction that has you constantly thinking about the chemistry you share. Or it could be that fluttery feeling in your stomach whenever you’re together, as you think about how nice it feels to be around them.
However, if you do like someone, and you end up transitioning into a relationship with them, it has to be with someone you can share anything and everything with; someone you’re completely comfortable with.
If you like someone, become one of their good friends. Share your world with them and build a stable friendship. By the time you’re ready to admit...they might be ready too.