Charmed‘s Shannen Doherty recently opened up about learning to accept her body post-breast cancer.
The actress – who was diagnosed with the disease in 2015 – is now in remission but says her recovery has been a gradual process.
WATCH: Shannen Doherty Says Breast Cancer Tore Down ‘Every Wall I Built’
“I don’t think you’re ever on the other side [of cancer],” Shannen told PEOPLE.
“I don’t think about the fact that I’m in remission. I look at it like I’m lucky to be alive every minute, every second of the day.”
The BH90210 actress underwent hormone therapy prior to her mastectomy, followed by back-to-back rounds of chemo and radiation.
In 2018, she had a reconstruction surgery called DIEP flap – an innovative surgery through which the breast is rebuilt using the patient’s own tissue.
“I really took good care of myself, and I came out of it in as good of condition I think somebody [in my situation] could be in,” said Shannen.
“But the funny thing with cancer is that once you’re no longer on chemo or radiation, people think you’re fine, that you bounce back. But what they don’t realize is that your body has been through something so incredibly difficult that your body never fully bounces back.”
The 47-year-old admitted that the extended hours on the set of BH90210 – which is a spinoff of Beverley Hills 90210 – had “taken a toll.”
“I’m exhausted. And I’m really terrible with self-care. When I‘m at work, I have a tunnel vision mentality,” Shannen sadly confessed.
In an interview with Health, Shannen also opened up about her inability to get pregnant, due to the fact it increases the likelihood of a cancer reoccurrence.
“It’s not possible [for me to get pregnant] because I can’t get out of menopause. That would require estrogen, and I’m choosing not to take hormone pills—I can’t risk those levels coming up,” she said.
The actress said that she and her husband, Kurt Iswarienko, had considered alternative options.
“We’re having conversations about an egg donor, maybe adoption. But there’s fear there. Am I going to last five years? Ten years? I certainly wouldn’t want my 10-year-old burying a mother. I’ve always wanted a kid. But maybe I’m supposed to mother in a different way,” Shannen said.
According to People, the TV star is learning to accept the changes her body has gone through.
“I’m never going to be the size I used to be. Some of my meds that I’m on keep zapping the collagen out of me, so I’m never going to have a wrinkle-free face. I’m critical of myself. But there are some things you can’t fight.”
Doherty said that ultimately, she was learning to be kinder to herself.
“I try to live each day as an amazing, precious gift that I’ve been given.”
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