This year's runner-up of The Bachelor opens up to WHO about being blindsided, her family's reaction to coming second and exactly how she feels about Matty Johnson and Laura Byrne.
Did you watch last night’s episode?
I did watch it. I ripped the Band-Aid off and watched it with a few friends, had a couple of Champagne's and had a cry.
You made the whole nation cry! Were you completely blindsided?
[Laughs] I genuinely thought that he had really strong feelings for me and I know he did and he made me feel like he felt that way back so it was upsetting to hear that it wasn’t me It did catch me by surprise but then also I knew he also had really strong feelings for Laura. So it was really 50/50.
While on the group dates did you notice that he had a special connection with Laura?
He noticed Laura straight away. And you know she came back from her date and told us stuff like she had met him before. I kind of knew that there was something strong there and she would go a long way. And I said that to him on our first date. And he knows all too well that it an just takes one date. So I did question that his heart had already been taken. But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
What was the first thing that you did when you got home from Thailand?
I think I grabbed a dooner and snuggled up on the couch with my sister and my mum and watched The Big Short. Because I was like “We are not watching anything that’s going to make me cry!”
What was the plane ride back like?
We actually had a few plane rides because we couldn’t fly back to Sydney. We had to do a little loop. I had a minder with me and I just cried and slept. I just wanted to come home.
So Matty and Laura weren’t on your flights?
No, the last time I had seen Matty was in Thailand.
Do you feel like you’re even going to get closure?
No. I will never get closure. But how I give myself closure is that I have to be okay with the fact that I’m just never going to get it and that’s okay. That’s my own closure.
Do you feel like you’re fully over Matty yet, or are you still heartbroken?
It has been a little bit of time and I can say that I’m not in love with Matty anymore. This couple of days has been hard because you relive it a little bit. It’s emotional but I know I have come a long way since it finished filming and I am ready to move on.
Are you still single?
I am still single; I’ve got to keep the illusion going! Can’t ruin it for Australia.
Are you on Tinder?
No! I’m really only up for real dating world.
Would you consider becoming The Bachelorette?
Right at this point, I would find it hard to do that because I know how I felt and it would be very hard to take someone else through that. I don’t know if I’d be the kind of person to be able to do that. Time passes, and Matty seemed to be able to do that so you never know.
Do you still speak to any of girls?
YES! I’ve made some legends of friends. Everyone has been texting me every day. They’re a great bunch of girls!
What was it like interviewing with Laura beside you knowing she had won?
Yesterday was so hard. It was very tough to keep a brave face and there were times when the cameras would go off and I’d run off with the publicist and say, “I need a minute!”
It was awkward for both of us I think because she’s so happy and she couldn’t show that off yesterday. So now we can both go off and I can do me and she can do her.
Do you think that you could go for a coffee with Matty and Laura?
No. I wouldn’t be going around for coffee with Matty and Laura. It’s so raw. And for her too, I even thought of it throughout the process it’s hard for whoever the person he ends up with to put aside that right up until the end there were other people that he had feelings for. So out of respect for them, they’ve got to work hard to make it in the real world. And whatever we can do to help that is good and would make the heartbreak worth it almost.
What did your family think when you came back home?
Oh. Um, they were a bit miffed. Pissed off. They felt for it too. Because obviously they’d met him but my dad said, “The second mousey always gets the cheese.” So he meant “you’ll come off find in the end.”
Your dad got along with Matty.
It’s a big thing to bring home to get a guy to come and meet them. But then also ask your family to like him as well. And I had to ask them knowing that he was not mine. So it’s a big thing for them so they sort of felt it with me.
Have you seen the backlash online?
No, I haven’t! But I hate trolls. I hate negativity online. So I decided not to look at my phone today.
But you had some positive feedback on your social?
I haven’t looked at it since the finale. I haven’t gone down that rabbit hole yet. I’ll have a look in the next couple of days.
Would you go back on TV in any other capacity?
I did enjoy TV actually. It was something I never thought I’d find myself in, but it was a good experience and the industry was fun.
So you would do it again?
No, like I wouldn’t go on The Bachelor again I’d be a bit weird if I went on twice. But yeah I’ve always wanted to do sports commentary or even presenting is what I’m interested in.
Is there anything you wish was televised that we didn’t see on the show?
No, I don’t think I did anything I regret. What you saw is pretty much what happened. Except then was a bit more crying that you didn’t see. I was really worried about the final scene because there were cameras in my face and I was actually on the ground crying for a lot longer than what it looked like. And I really think they [the producers] were very tasteful in the way that they edited it.
This article originally appeared on WHO.