In a move that will amuse mothers everywhere, a father-of-two has written a revealing Facebook post comparing motherhood to a backwards rollercoaster ride through waterfalls of vomit and tears.
Brad Kearns’ wife Sarah was admitted to hospital leaving him to pick up the reins and he’s described his day with his two sons aged two and six weeks.
“Today I had to be the mum,” he writes. "Well sit back, relax, grab a drink, some popcorn, clear your schedule and hold onto your bootlaces because I’m about to take you on a ride that could only be likened to a backwards 100mph roller coaster that takes you through waterfalls of vomit, s**t and lots of tears.
“And once you’re finished with yours you will move onto the children’s.”
Brad tells how he rushed home from work where he gets 40 hours of respite per week “supporting the family”, going on to describe he had to deal with a “trashed” house and his kids Knox, two, and Finn, six weeks, crying and screaming.
After spending hours trying to entertain and feed the kids he writes: “As the night rolls on and my patience wears thin; I reduce myself to keeping Knox quiet by allowing him to place stickers on my (very hairy) legs.”
He then recounts how his baby screams “as if I’ve thrown him at a wall by his legs.”
Finally, when his mother-in-law turns up to help, he admits he was barely coping.
“I open the door to her to reveal the fact that Knox’s noodles were still in a bowl on the table, stickers stuck to the goddam lounge, the house an absolute mess … That was only 16 hours of being a mum. And I failed.”
He finishes by writing: “I want to let the mums know I get it.”